Habuk

Lamanya tak menulis, fuh fuh habuk.
Someone googled my blog and typed in "zakiah+sheffield+encik sayang".

What a combination.
Hehe.
Masa untuk hidup aku terasa berlalu lebih laju dari biasa.
Tunggu aku lebih lepak,nanti aku cerita.
Baru bangun, nak bersiap pergi kerja.
*malas dan menggeliat*

Tak Lulus Ujian

Beberapa perkara dalam kepala:

1. Allah akan uji kita, setakat kemampuan kita kan?
Kiranya, kita takkan diuji dengan sesuatu di luar kemampuan kita kan?

Tapi aku ini tidak sabar.
Kenapa lah dengan sabar itu juga lah aku diuji?
Ujian sabar, kebanyakan nya aku gagal.

Dan sekali lagi aku gagal setelah sekian lama.
Tapi, aku banyak lulus ujian redha.


2. Seseorang yang pernah buat hidup aku huru hara di suatu tempat asing, di suatu tempat aku tak punya siapa datang kembali.

Well, dia tak pernah 'blah' pun dari hidup aku. Sentiasa nak tahu pasal aku, hairan.
Kenangan dengan kau sangat pahit, sampai aku memang tak mahu ada kaitan apa-apa pun dengan kau.
Bukan aku tak cuba nak fix things between us, tapi memang kau begitu. Macam tak boleh tengok orang senang. Perihal aku, laju saja kau nk tahu. Perihal aku juga, pantas saja kau jaja kepada orang lain.

Sudah lah, you know where the exit is.
Takda orang macam kau dalam hidup aku pun, tak apa lah.:)
Luaran kau mungkin nampak baik, tapi dalam kau hitam.

3. Aku sedar kadang-kadang aku tak sempat buat macam-macam hal dalam hidup. Contoh? Mungkin bersosial dengan kelompok manusia yang berbeza. Rakan-rakan aku seperti sama saja. Oh, mungkin aku tinggal di Bintulu. Limited choice of friends. Eh alasan kan?

4. Aku sudah minta adik aku di UIA tu settle kan urusan Streamyx Unipack application. Murah ma, RM68/month for 1 mbps. Oh, dapat free netbook lagi. Heaven eh? Aku tolong promote ni, cepat apply sementara kamu jadi university student.


5. These days aku banyak dengar lagu sedih. Ish tak sihat, tapi macam best juga layan lagu macam tu. Contoh lagu sedih : Ressa-Menyesal.


Ok lah, aku patut mandi tapi turunkan makanan dalam perut dulu.

Mimpi tetap Mimpi

Bila kita memang buntu dengan sesuatu keputusan, solat lah istikharah.

Moga kita peroleh lebih keyakinan setelah solat istikharah.
Dulu saya ingat, solat istikharah ini jika kita ada lebih dari satu pilihan dan kita nak tahu pilih yg mana saja..
Not only that ya..
Im not ustazah atau seorang yang hebat ilmu agama..
Tetapi dari apa yang saya belajar dan baca, solat sunat istikharah ini juga untuk beri kita lebih keyakinan dengan keputusan kita...
Supaya kita yakin, rasa tenang dengan pilihan dan moga jalan yang kita pilih itu dimudahkan..
And if it doesnt go our way, kita minta untuk hati ini dikuatkan dan dikurniakan rasa redha terhadap apa jua ketentuan Allah..

Ini doa nya..ringkas saja..

Ya Allah, jika Engkau mengetahui bahawa pilihan *..sila sebut apa pilihan kamu..* ini, baik bagi agama & kehidupanku & hari kemudianku, maka berikanlah ia kpdku, & mudahkanlah ia bagiku, & berkatilah ia kpdku.

Jika Engkau mengetahui bahawa pilihan ini buruk bagiku, buruk bagi agamaku, penghidupanku & hari kemudianku, maka jauhkanlah aku daripadanya, & berikanlah bagiku kebaikan di mana pun juga adanya, kemudian jadikanlah aku org yg redha dgn pemberian itu.-Bukhari

Saya juga ada terbaca, tanda-tanda selepas solat istikharah itu not entirely dari tafsiran mimpi.
Kiranya, kita tak bleh rely on mimpi pun, dan kita tak boleh samakan diri kita dengan nabi.
Nabi nabi memang ada yg dapat petunjuk dari mimpi.
Kita ni manusia biasa, kadang kala Allah bagi petunjuk tu dengan gerak hati yang kuat, rasa keyakinan untuk ikut sesuatu flow itu..
Sebab itu kadang kadang, bila kita rasa urusan itu dimudahkan, InsyaAllah pilihan kita itu tepat..

Kalau salah tolong betulkan. Saya masih belajar, lets share your inputs with me.

Kabur

Kabur, jauh, bimbang, gusar.

Risau.

Aku tak nafikan rasa-rasa itu.

Kentalkah aku untuk sampai ke penghujung?
Kuatkah aku untuk menang perjuangan ini?
Layakkah aku untuk terpilih?

Main-main

I tried to watch Adamaya, cerita melayu tipikal tu.
Sampai sekarang tak faham kenapa orang suka tonton.

Lepas kahwin pun nak main-main, pandai betul.

Hey, buat lah cerita mencabar sikit.
Melayu..melayu.
Sorry yer, my time is too precious to be wasted for watching that cheapskate drama.
Sekian.

Bidadari Mu

Salam and good evening, I felt a little bit fragile today.
No, it's not that Im feeling down over something.
It's more to..I will redha for anything comes up after this.

And, Encik Sayang gave me this one link.
Katanya, dedicated to me.
Ku Ingin Jadi Bidadari Itu

Inginku petik this one part of the entry:
"Berapa ramai wanita hari ini yang kelihatan jauh dari ciri wanita solehah, tetapi dengan kehadiran seorang suami yang soleh, wanita itu berjaya dibentuk dan berubah kepada yang lebih baik. Nasihat kepada suri hatinya tentang penampilan seorang wanita Muslimah sentiasa dititikberatkan. Pergaulan isteri bersama lelaki yang bukan mahram, diselia sebaiknya agar tidak timbul fitnah yang merosakkan."

Abang, teruskan perjuangan kita ini.
Abang pesan, usah putus harapan..

Bidadari Abang? Hehe..

Thanks love, I will never give up:)
Alhamdulillah, Allah murahkan rezeki ku sejak belakangan ni.
Till then, see you..

Tahniah

Dari hari Jumaat hari tu aku patut post entry ni.

Last Friday, (gaya buat report) I had two significant things happened to me.

One,
I have successfully received my confirmation letter from my company. It was a breathtakingly good news! Alhamdulillah..my probation period for 6 months went well..Hihi..

Two,
I had this Young Executive Club (YEC) Gala Dinner. Remember I was nominated to be the next financial year committee? Oh people, I won the vote. Of all the 20 candidates, I was selected to be included in the 10 winners.
Oh, Im nervous weh.
Sebab aper, I will be the representative for all young executives of my company. What a huge responsibility, I will take it now. Dulu aku reluctant, hurmm..because I dont want commitment. Tapi aku fikir, apart from jadikan YEC to club yang kasi fun activities to its members, I was thinking to be the platform for the young executives to voice up any significant issues. Kalau kat sekolah dulu, macam Majlis Perwakilan Pelajar la. Lebih kurang..
I got the idea sejak semalam bila makan malam dengan this one Commercial Division manager. Dia yang bagi idea untuk aku voice up this one issue regarding to our company. I will try my best oh. Doakan aku ok:)

ok, itu saja cerita untuk weekend ini.

Esok kerja.

Bye!

So Deep

Some things touch your heart so deep..
and one of them is you..


Ya Allah, mudahkan lah urusan kami..

Menyorok, Kecil kan Diri.

You all, bila I tuka url blog I ni..Ramai pula tanya mana blog pergi?
I said ada ja..cuma tukar url..

Erm..
Sometimes I tak mahu sesetengah orang tahu how my life is.

Sometimes I rasa tak berbaloi pun untuk you all baca my ramblings ni, merepek kerepek merapu ikan kerapu ok..(see, mengarut terkarut tol).

Sometimes, I nak privacy so that I tak perlu filter ayat ayat I, tak perlu cover I nak express my feelings kat anyone I love. Or hate. Haha.

Sometimes, sometimes..sometimes...I nak be alone juga..Jauh dari hiruk pikuk dunia, jauh dari segala cela kata kata pedih menikam kalbu hatiku.

Dah dah..Mind my merepekness ok..Hehe. I macam nak rest tadi tapi I still nak tulis entry ni.

Jadinya, memang berapa kerat manusia je la yang tahu blog I ni..

Encik Sayang for sure tahu, everyday he will read my kerepekan ni..Kan yang?

Then my close friends..

And some family members.
Full stop.

Nanti satu hari, I akan go public secara meluas..Tunggu masa itu tiba ok..
Im not ready yet..
Till then, goodnyte.

Psstt..Sayang, cepat pulang tau..
:)

Cik Muda

Serius, jangan terpengaruh dengan tajuk. I have nooooo ideas what to title my entry. Kuang kuang..:P.
Well, I woke up late today.
630 am you..I dah terjaga at 531 am but alarm tone yg baru itu tak berjaya sedarkanku dari mimpi indah.
Why late? Because normally I will wake up at 530 am..I bersiap lambat la..Sedang belajar untuk bersiap dengan cepat lar ni..Hehe..
So bila bangun lambat I memang gelabah berabis..hehe..
Housemate I yang I salu tumpang tu suka pergi kerja awal sebab nak rebut parking best..
Tapi I berjaya juga siap dalam masa 20 minit jer..Wah, what an achievement!
Yang bestnyer, Encik Sayang macam tau tau je saya terlambat bangun arini. Haha.
I woke up and he called and asked me where am I.
I said la baru bangun and he said pergi siap cepat and jangan miss solat subuh..
"Yer bang..."..
Hehe..

Eh aper la..Pergi cerita pasal bangun lambat. Tajuk pun dah memang lari habes.
Well, I nak share one issue with you.
I was nominated to be the committee of Young Executive Club (YEC) for my company. Baru nominated la..Dah la gambar untuk vote I, depa curik amek dari FB I. Ish ish..haha..itu kelakar gak ar..
On the other hand, I memang tak mahu jadi and tak mahu ada komitmen ni..
You, zaman university or skolah boleh lagi..Tapi bila dah kerja ni I memang tak mahu..:(.

You all rasa bagai mana ya? I memang dah fikir negatif pasal ni..sobsob..
I tak mao...

*apsal la I sounded mengada gedik nih, haha.*

Okla, you are welcome to drop any advices/comments/opinions regarding to the issue. Cewahs, macam serius nau je.

Hehe..

Okla you all..I nak rest..

Setahun Lebih, 10 Bulan dan 1 Minggu

Pertama kali jumpa kamu setahun dan 2 minggu yang lalu..
Waktu tu saya ingat kamu kerek orangnya..(haha).
Oh rupanya kamu memang begitu bila belum kenal..
Tapi bila dah kenal..aih, sungguh lain. Haha. Suka usik orang yer. Blueks.


Yang, thanks for everything ok...:)

Comel nyer....kerusi oren tu. Kuang kuang..:P

Take care ok, malam ni kita sambung discussion masalah negara. Haha. :P

The Decision Yields A Result

Fikir dan fkir, aku mahu ke mana?
Malam ini aku kan tahu..
Ya Allah, mohon petunjukmu...Always do..Please dont turn your back on me..

Rindu Kuasa 2546345667568..

I really miss you, sayang...

Terima Kasih Allah...

Pagi yang buat ku terharu, tersentuh hati.
Alhamdulillah atas rasa ini.

Engkau diciptakan untuk bawa ku dekat denganNya, untuk bimbingku ke jalan yg diredhai-Nya.
Ya Allah, ini lah pilihanku..
Aku bersyukur atas segala nikmat..
permudahkan urusan kami Ya Rabb..

Tapi jangan sampai rasa kasih ini melebihi rasa kasihku padaMu Penciptaku..
Amiin..

Ampunkan segala dosaku Ya Allah..

Aku sayang Allah..
Aku rindu Allah..
Aku cinta Allah..

-Waliband.

*Abang, Za salu notice abang suke dengar lagu ni..At that time tak tahu lagi lagu saper, then I secretly downloaded it..Thanks..:)

"I praise Allah for sending me you my love
You found me home and sail with me
And I`m here with you
Now let me let you know
You`ve opened my heart
I was always thinking that love was wrong
But everything was changed when you came along
OOOOO
And theres a couple words I want to say

For the rest of my life
I`ll be with you
I`ll stay by your side honest and true
Till the end of my time
I`ll be loving you. loving you
For the rest of my life
Thru days and night
I`ll thank Allah for open my eyes
Now and forever I I`ll be there for you

I know that deep in my heart
I feel so blessed when I think of you
And I ask Allah to bless all we do
You`re my husband and my friend and my strength
And I pray we`re together eternally
Now I find myself so strong
Everything changed when you came along...."

Sweet.Dreams

My new bedsheet! Encik Sayang also likes it! Lalalala..~

We have so many things in common, love you:)

I got myself a new pillow with lavender scent. It's a therapeutic pillow man..Cool huh?
Sah sah susah nak bangun pagi ni dan aktiviti tiduran akan makin pesat membangun. Har Har..

Ok, see you tomorrow! :)

Kesian

Kesian sungguh la kat awak.
Dah salah tu, tolong la admit salah awak.
Gemuk oh gemuk.
Lain kali jangan cuba bermain kayu 3 ya, kan dah kena.
Keras kepala ingat awak je betul.
Memang kesian..
Tata!

Kunci Hati Ku

Cewah tajuk, tak boleh blah. Kuang kuang.

Well, mari update sikit-sikit. (Gila, patut nya buat kerja tapi lagha kat blog:p ).

Sunday (4/4/2010)

730pm
-Aku terkunci dari luar bilik. It means that I cannot get into my room. Freaked out sebab esoknya I need to go to work. Cuakkk..

1000pm.
-Ketuk door knob dengan hammer secara bersungguh-sungguh. Konon-konon terer hebat lah ketuk-ketuk tengah malam di kala jiran dah nak tidur. Kena serang dengan jiran baru ku tahu. Har har but nasib baik tiada perang antara jiran terjadi.

1200am
-I gave up to ketuk-ketuk, tidur di bilik kawan. Sehelai sepinggan sepinggang. Handphone dan laptop semua dalam bilik. Baju kerja? Lagi lah terletak elok dalam almari.


Monday (5/4/2010),

430am
-Terjaga sebab encik sayang buzz ku di Ym. Online guna iPhone member ku. Yer, aku memang tumpang barang orang sejak semalam. Har har..
-Dengan line internet yg kiok weng weng, memang sukar untuk chat dengan Encik Sayang. Nak cerita semua benda memang susah. For sure, he was freaking worried la.

615am
-After performing subuh prayer, I called my boss. Pow member lagi guna phone. Muahaha.
"Boss, I ade emergancy kat rumah..I terkunci di luar bilik, tengah tungguh orang dtg repair".
Boss macam paham and he went:
"So you datang lambat la arini?"
"Yer boss". Hikhik dalam hati.

1200pm
-Aku boring gile melepak di ruang tamu. Member dah boring teman aku di rumah, dia dah off to work and left me her phone. Aku tetap tunggu sambil tengok Air Crash Investigation sampai ternangis. Isk isk tragis gila:(. Terlalai tonton kotak bergambar, tv dan masih belum mandi sebab masih tunggu orang nak repair pintu. Kang mandi, takde orang nak jawap phone plak.

1245pm
-Orang datang repair, pintu dah sembuh. Terus bersiap g kerja.

Muka lega kerna akhirnya dapat door knob baru.

245pm
-Right after arrived at my office, orang pakat dok tanya awat la hang lambat arini? (Tipu, mereka tak cakap Kedah, haha). Depa dok ingat aku cuti arini. Haha. Then I told them the story and derang tanya naper tak amek Emergency Leave (EL) terus? Damn, aku pekerja skema lagi tekun kot, tu yang sayang nak tinggal kerja walau sehari. Haha perasan. But hey, workloads memang mounting pun, tak boleh delay-delay dah. Suppliers dok email tanya soalan pelbagai.


Oklah, sekian cerita ku bertajuk "Kunci Hati Ku".
Kuang-Kuang jiwang.

Nak prepare skrip untuk engagement event with our new boss tomorrow.
Tiba-tiba perlu jadi MC pula.
Bye!

The Decision

Just now I called my mom and we had a long chat.
We talk about things, from good to bad.

Right now I only have mom that seems to understand me well.
Of course la, I stayed in her tummy for 9 months.
I'm still thinking before I decide this.
Hurmmmmm..........

I hope my decision wouldn't hurt anyone..
I'm sorry if it does..
Because it's gona change my life..:(

Sejenak Terlintas

Tadi bangun seawal 550pagi.
Solat subuh dsb..
Chatting dengan Encik Sayang.
Goreng bihun tomyam, cuci dapur, lap-lap apa patut.
Cuci pinggan, buat teh Earl Grey kegemaran.
Lantas aku ternampak Milo.
Teringat kisah housemateku yang lama, sewaktu mula mula sampai Bintulu.
Mari panggil dia A, bukan nama sebenar.
Ada seorang lagi housemateku (J, bukan nama betul) kene sound sebab dia minum Milo.
Ya, freaking Milo tu ya rakan-rakan.

Kata A kepada J, Milo kan boikot sebab product Nestle. so cubalah minum VICO ka.
My friend J tu pun cuba lah minum VICO.
Haha. Kesian J. Dia tak gemar VICO sebab tak sesedap Milo.

A tu pun pernah sound aku, dia cakap jangan spend time banyak masa sangat dengan boyfriend.
Silap nasihat ke ape.
Encik Sayang dok jauh tu, fikir lah before nasihat.

Aku paham dia tu type aktif usrah semua, tapi dulu kt university pun couple macam orang lain kan?

Pasal boikot tu, aku nak tegelak sikit.
Ya lah, nasihat tu nasihat jugak tapi aku harap kau nasihat dulu adik kau yang suka pergi Gig tu, yang free hair dan dye rambut tu..
Maybe kau boleh kurang kan jadi ekstrem dan perluaskan dakwah kepada family dulu?

Hehe..peace!

Old Wound

Sometimes when I think about it, it hurts inside.

Because you used to be someone really close to me.

Damn, go away you bitter memories.
Go and drained yourself.

But I see you..-Mika.

Happy Moment-Twenty 5ive :)

Thanks for all the wishes people.
Heart you!
Sayang, thanks for singing to me last night.
Haha funny plak bila fikir.

Oh yeah, Celcom-Free-Call-On-Your-Birthday-For-One-Week. Cool ok, I can call my parents and my bakal mentua FREE for ONE freaking week! haha.
Excited pula.
So tadi I called lah my parents and my mama-to-be.

Happy indeed:).
Funny thing is:
Mama-to be was surprised to know that I suka makan ulam-ulaman and masakan kampung.
Haha..
She said, suka juga ya makan macam tu..Ingat bila study overseas tak biasa makan makanan camtu..
No lah..
I suka ja ulam-ulam, sambal belacan, ikan bakar and air asam.
Fuh..Drooling you.

Last night I got surprised from friends who knocked on my door at 1.30am, brought me cake and sang me birthday song.
Sweet ah korang, thanks! :)

Lalalala..
Tapi I still confuse about my career path..
Allah, help..

Okla, gona cook for lunch. Bye:)

The Lowest State

People, Im feeling down again.:(

This time is about my working life.

Not treating me well as I need to be really firm, strong, smart.
Sigh, I nak tukar department pun macam-macam hal.

I taknak jadi engineer, why nak question things?
Ok, fine. I will do research, will come out with justifications on WHY I WANT TO CHANGE MY CAREER PATH.

Urgh, kan best kalau kerja di company bapak sendiri. I wish lah.

Lets tell you stories:

1. I met my boss, I went up to my old office (engineering). Everyone was like.."wow, lamanya kau kat department beli-beli barang tuh." Aku reply ah: "yerla, kan aku attached kat situ 6 bulan. Now baru 2 bulan". Then I talked to my boss for an hour, tu pun people nak hairan-hairan. Right after I got out of the boss's room, orang cakap lagi "lamenye kau kat bilik boss". Ala korang, concern gila. I have a lot to say ok. Thanks.
2. Then jumpa this one colleague, a service engineer. He blamed me for all the technical evaluations he has to work on. He said, "Sebab kau lah kerja aku makin banyak. Bile ko attached kat department sane, ingat kau boleh evaluate items tu. Tengok ah bile aku nak siapkan.". What the hell man. Dah ar cakap depan boss and kuat-kuat satu office leh dengar. Aku replied ah. "I did my part, you're the service engineer so do your part lah. Kerja kau jadi banyak, it shows that me and others are doing our works.". Yes, I'm new but doesnt mean kau boleh attack and buli aku macm tu ok. I have my evidence kalau General Manager nak salahkan aku one day.
3. This one girl, my friend. Dah la sebab bf die tinggalkan die hari tu because of she main kayu lapan with her ex. The ex is married. Now dah single, still nak involve dengan married man tu. Look who is digging her own grave now. Aku dah pesan, dont play with fire weh. Aku penat nasihat orang yang ada possibility kacau rumah tangga orang. Dah la tu, mari settle down dengan lelaki single ok. Aih, dah susah kawan ni gak kau cari.

Today I felt bitter, the most difficult day I faced in the past few months.
I cannot tell my parents about my working life problems, I cannot.:(
Nak bgtau kakak, she has her own family matters to settle. With two babies, I cannot be a crying baby to her anymore.

To tell mysayang, I dont want to distract his mind. He is still studying, tak bagus tahu lebih-lebih pasal kerja I.
Sayang, I know you will read this but Im gona be OK..trust me. Ade lah tu solution nye nanti.
:)

So my only option now is, my blog. Hehe

Eh, dah boleh ketawa.
I have problems too, but I will sort them out. Insyaallah I takkan diuji dengan ujian yang beyond my kemampuan.


Amiin..:)

Bosan, Bengang, Boo!

Im bored to death, the best I can say now.

Ok, as promised you guys the sad story I want to tell you about.
One fine evening, I got back from work and saw a car in front of my house.
My housemate's bf's car.
As I passed by the car, there was a voice calling my name and urged me:
"Z, kau bawak N keluar dari kereta aku".

Ok, she was begging for him not to leave her.
She cried like hell, pulled the guy's shirt.
The guy pulled himself away with that look. You know, muka orang tak suka dah.

I was watching and trying to get her out of the car. But she refused to follow me.
I asked her to get into the house as the neighbours are watching the drama.

For about 15 minutes, the guy got out of the car and went to the road side.
She followed and aku cam dah malas nak layan sebab aku penat balik dari kerja tak kuasa nak layan drama bunguk camtu. Malu duh, jiran tengok OK.

15 minutes later, the guy brought her back.
In front of my house and he warned her please get into the house before the brother is coming.
So she got in.
Then the guy's brother came, pulled away the guy while spitting at our halaman rumah, baling tin minuman yg dia nak buang.
Wth man, even if kau marah perempuan tu (well, the brother tak suka my housemate ni).
Janganlah hina macam tu.
Shit gila, kurang ajar.
But I didnt give a damn at that moment sebab aku fikir orang tengah marah usah simbah minyak.

Drama ended, aku masuk rumah.

Dah la ok, move je lah.
Orang dah takmau.

Banyak lagi yang sudi, tu pun kalau kamu nak cuba.

Good luck.
Say no to dramas.

Bye.

Btw, tengah tunggu Air Asia yang sengal ni call me back.
You better be good, red mini skirt.

Thanks.

Grown Up, Ah

Kau dah besar or berumur, should act like one.
Jangan jadi bodoh ok, beg sana sini.
Orang dah tak nak sudah lah.

Move on lah.

Outspoken, September 2009.

People, tadi aku masak mee rebus and ajak friends to come over.
We makan-makan and tiba-tiba keluar cerita lama, tahun lepas.
Masa tu aku baru report duty ke Bintulu. It was in September 2009.
One friend from HR department, bersuara dan pandang aku.
"Aku ingat lagi kau masa sesi We Care We Share. Kau outspoken duh.".

I was like..err..am I?
Haha.
Sometimes aku tak perasan pun how people describe me.

Nanti aku cerita satu cerita sedih di petang hari.
I wish I didn't witness it.
Sigh, after all..It's just another phase of life..
Goodnyte!

Wasted My Years..

Something in the past came up, all of sudden.
Surprised by the news, I stayed calm.
But somehow it made me think of how I wasted my years with uncertain things, with worrying things, with jumbled up things around me.
How it made me feel uneasy most of the time and miserable.
Cried almost every night, how stupid.

Harsh but true.

To know the news now, people and I would say "c'mon, it's in the past."
But it suddenly lingers when you hear it after almost a year of silence.

A lie will always be a lie I guess.

Please, let yourself away from me or anyone I love.

12 Years..

It has been 12 years and I'm still far away from people back home.
Down..down..down..:(


I was crying ..then he came..went online.

I love you darling, R.

Putera Katak Tengah Malam

Helo people, laparnya.
:(
Tadi I balik awal, I mean balik memang ON TIME. 4.30pm sharp depan gate. Haha.
I was kinda energyless sebab perut meragam since the noon.
I drove macam orang mengantuk, lemah. Almost accident tadi. Alhamdulillah masih alive:(...

So yeah, last night ada seekor katak masuk bilik via my window.
It was 12am midnite. Gila tau, I scream and nangis because the frog got into my closet.
I texted Encik Sayang and he thought it was funny and laughed.
I merajuk dengan kadar yang kecil sebab kecuakan tengok katak lagi dasyat you!.
At about 1am, katak berjaya dikeluarkan after a few jumps :P.

Sigh, katak oh katak. Ada kawan suggest I kiss katak tuh, mana tau tetibe jelma jadi Prince yang handsome. HAHA.

Now Encik Sayang travel again, tinggal I sorang-sorang kat fb, skype and YM ni.
Aih, sunyi nya bila dia takda.
Today when I told my friends about katak tuh, they laughed like hell and then I realised how funny it was.
Yer la sayang, memang funny pun. Tapi bila sayang gelak bila Za cuak camtuh, memang lah belum jadi funny. Haha.
Oklah, esok nak pergi jumpa dentist and shopping gila-gila beli barang-barang keperluan. (^_^)

Are You Ready?

Are you ready babeh?
Haha, gile ape intro cmtuh.
What lah.
Oh ya, I just finished watching Gossip Girl Season 3. Never thought watching it is gona be a real wrench, sungguh tak logic but apparently it was.
Sigh, drama drama.

Eyh, it's not what I'm going to talk about. Haha, macam biasa lah I repek kerepek before going to the real entry.

Just now Encik Sayang asked me
"Sayang dah ready nak kahwin?"

Hurm *muka fikir panjang*.
It's not that I'm in doubt or having a second thought to be his wife but I personally think that neither "Yes, I'm ready" nor "Im not ready" answer are fair enough.

Why I said that? Because I think I don't know if I'm truly ready until I'm in it.

Kalau I memang nak kahwin, I have the intention, I act my talk and intention, InsyaAllah it will come my way, come our way.
Give me chance to prove I can be a good wife, let's learn each other and live together, face everything together when we're married.
Ok yang? That's my answer.
I'm not perfect kan dear, I malas lipat baju. That's for sure but as long as Encik Sayang will teman I lipat baju, I definitely akan bersemangat melipat baju:P.

haha, pening tak? :p

Nak tidur, bye!

My Very Own

I can live my own life, like I used to do.

9 Months and The Days Go On..:)

Alhamdulillah, its already 9 months pregnancy since we last..last..had 'something' for each other. hehe.
People, its been a while since I blabbed about my dull daily lives.
Boring sket hidupku lately, sungguh-sungguh busy ok since I was placed at the new department.
In this new department, Im not doing any engineering/technical jobs. It's all about buying/procurement. I jadi buyer lah for my company.
I will handle and process the PR (Purchase Requisition) sampai lah I dapat produce PO (Purchase Order).
Basically kerja baru I ni agak enjoyable.
I can dress up to go to work, wearing heels, baju-baju cantik.
Everyday my office hour memang FULLY OCCUPIED from 8 to 5pm.
Kena email orang sana-sini, deal with suppliers and end users (the engineers).
Layan kerenah orang la..

Kerja guna komputer je banyak, writing up documents and I think I memang enjoy kerja non technical nih.
Tak perlu berpanasan ke plant atau pakai baju kuning coverall tuh.

Tapi itulah, I jadi busy sket, tapi I puas hati dengan kerja I. Fuh!

Why am I attached to this department?
It's just a temporary attachment for 6 months.
Thats why I said, kalau I perform di department baru ni, I ingat I nak mintak tukar untuk permanently kerja di department ni.
Makin lama makin tak sesuai dengan jiwa saya untuk jadi engineer.
Hurm..it's a long story peeps..
I can commit to my engineering job but my heart is not there. Sigh..I need my boss to talk about this.

Oklah people, I nak mandi untuk malam.
Btw, my weekend was superb as I invited over a few friends (nearly 10 people) to come over to my new house.
I made bihun sup and they liked it! Yeah yeah! Hehe.
Terasa macam tinggal di UK saja, masak and ajak friends to come over.:)

Macam mini open house saje.
Orang cakap, tetamu tu kan rezeki?
:)

Ok2, perlu mandi malam.
Bye bye people!

Him Eps 2

17. Sense of intellectual. intelek ini penting, termasuklah bila kau menegur aku. tegurlah aku dengan intelek, bukan hanya ikut hati. dalam kata lain, teguran berhikmah. sekian.
~So far saya ok jer dengan cara die menegur saya.:)

18. Tahu isu semasa, boleh berdiskusi dan boleh dibawa berbincang. at least we have something to talk about other than being lovey-dovey at all times without knowing what's going on. ada kaitan dengan isu intelek, aku mahu pasangan yang intelek.
~Isu semasa, masalah negara, masalah masyarakat. Semua kami boleh dicuss together. :D

19. Seorang yang gentleman, buat aku rasa selamat. contohnya bila aku ada masalah, kau rela mendengar dan kalau boleh ada nasihat berguna. bagusnya.
~:)

20. Terima aku seadanya, tahu handle aku di kala aku tidak stabil emosinya setiap bulan dan sabar menempuh saat sukar itu (atau kadang-kadang aku tiba-tiba emosi. siapa tahu kan hehe.) if you can stand me at my worst, you deserve me at my best. yes you are ;)
~Setakat ni Encik Sayang boleh sabar dengan kerenah ku dan cuba memahami kenapa ada PMS:P

21. Someone who leads the relationship. i dont want to be the man in a relationship. since i was small, i will be easily attracted to men with good leadership skills. hence, be the man.
~no comment ya, senyum ja :)

22. Someone with good computer skills will obtain extra points here. hehe. why i need this? because i like gadgets, i like computers, i like technologies. bila laptop aku rosak hari tu, baru tahu pentingnya lelaki yang tahu komputer.
~I need to live with him, baru tahu.

23. Jika kita berdebat, sila jangan kalah sebelum waktu. sila debat dengan hujah bernas, sekian.
~evidence memang penting:P. Muka saya tak puas hati pun dia dah boleh read:)

24. If you want me to be an adult please treat me like one.
~agree..

25. Tidak cepat putus asa. ini sungguh penting, aku tak mahu losers.
~Lelaki yg cepat give up tidak digemari..

26. Seseorang yang membela aku, pertahankan aku bila aku dikecam.
~So that I will feel safe..

27. Lelaki yang ada background keluarga yang baik, mempunyai hubungan yang baik dengan keluarga, anak yang taat.
~Encik Sayang memang anak yg baik:)

28. Tidak berat untuk tolong aku di rumah. situasi mudah. contohnya, jika kita baru pulang dari kerja, pasti penat dan jika kamu mahu aku masak untuk kamu, silalah tolong jaga baby kita sebentar. aku bukan mahu minta lebih, cuma kerjasama saja :)
~Yang, kalau baby kita 'tak wangi' pun mesti kena jaga ya..:P. haha

29. Oh lagi, kau terima aku dan keluarga. aku ada 10 beradik tahu, sila lah tahu itu. kalau kau tak suka keluarga besar, aku bukanlah perempuan itu OK. oh yer, kau tahu kan yang aku ini tinggal di Perak, aku juga bukan belajar di Sri Aman, dahulu aku belajar di Kedah lah.
~Some people tak rasa aku dari Perak. naper tah..

Him Eps 1

Kira-kira 2 bulan before I knew Encik Sayang, I made a list remember? List ciri-ciri lelaki idaman saya..
Tiba-tiba hari ini saya tergerak hati untuk baca balik list tu..Check these out..

1. Kau memang lelaki tulen, itu pasti.
~InsyaAllah, Encik Sayang itu lelaki tulen. Hehe. Kan yang?

2. Kau single.
~Before I kenal dia, I ingat dia taken tau. But..Alhamdulillah single. Hehe:)

3. You can guide me to the right path or at least have the potential and willingness to be better.( THIS IS VITAL). And yes, if i say something good dengan tujuan nak menegur, kamu mesti willing untuk dengar:)
~InsyaAllah, dia mampu..kan yang?

4. You are affordable in terms of money, time, efforts. it'd be better if you own a car, but hey i wouldn't mind using public transport (sometimes).
~Tapi kan aby, since you're very good at driving, I malas lah naik public transport dah..lalalala..~

5. Someone yang pembersih, tahu bila untuk kenakan bau yang menyenangkan. Sedikit unsur Metroseksual adalah bagus.
~Ehem..ehem...:)

6. Respect me and treat me as a WOMAN, not ONLY a human.
~So far so good dear..

7. Knows how to get along with my family, friends. respect them too. one of the reasons of rejection is when my family say NO to you.
~So far so good with my family. My youngest sister suka ja bila Encik Sayang nak datang rumah..:)

8. Knows how to joke. i like someone with sense of humor. excuse me, no lawak bodoh please.
~Dia suka mengusik orang..Buat saya ketawa tapi malu-malu :P

9. Willing to sacrifice for me, or at least offer me your help, it will show your concern ok?
~Yup..yup..Encik Sayang memang suka menolong orang tau..Bulan puasa hari tu he offered to drive me to Alor Setar untuk settle kan tiket flight saya..Journey yang might take 3 hours..Thanks yang..:)

10. Smart thinking. i love men with brains. tak semestinya 1st class degree every semester, but THE WAY YOU THINK and MAKE UP YOUR MIND really matter to me. from that i would know whether you are smart. i also love to hear your evidences. jangan salah sangka, kalau kau pemalas belajar serta akademik tidak bagus pun aku tak mahu.
~He's smart..:)

11. A good listener. this is important especially when we discuss a certain matter. i will listen to you and vice versa. it's a bonus if you can easily read my mind and just get what im saying so that i don't need to elaborate more on that. *applause*
~Memang good listener, he will listen to my stories. Problems apatah lagi..:). Kalau saya tak puas hati dengan jawapannyer, he can read my face. haha:P

12. You DO SPORTS. i want a healthy man, not a bookworm. hey, at least futsal.
~Fuh, pernah di offer untuk ke Sekolah Sukan Bukit Jalil ni..kan yang?

13. Physically, i want someone taller than me (worry not, im just 160cm), 'sharp' face (if you know what i mean), tak perlu kacak macam Johnny Depp, tetapi sedap mata memandang sudah:). jika kau kacak serta perasan memang turn me off, maaf.
~Yeye..he's taller than me..hehe

14. Tidak berkira in terms of money.
~Sepanjang I kenal die, die tak berkira orangnya..

15. Self confidence. a man with a self confidence is way more preferred.
~Masa mula-mula jumpa dia, faktor ini yg buat saya tertarik kepadanya..Hurmm..:)

16. Matang, tahu membuat keputusan bijak.
~Although he is just 22, tapi ada juga matangnya..:)

Baru 16, more characteristics to come..tunggu....:)

Later! :)

Mood, Where Are You?

Empty.
It's all I feel.
Im not mad, no anger. No furious too.
Mood takde. Im not sad.
Just, takde perasaan nak buat apa-apa.

Encik sayang is leaving for Tanta tonight.
Selalunya sayang travel, take care ya.

Btw, my job is treating me great. Satisfaction.
People, kalau aku tak mahu jadi engineer ok tak?
I want to do something else.

I'm still thinking.

Maybe nak tukar department.

Maybe.
Allah, I seek guidance. Please..:(

Washing Machine, Behave!

Heh, sound nonsense aite to urge a washing machine to behave.
I waited nearly an hour just to see how the machine operates CORRECTLY.

Aih..it's 1am now, Im still awake.
Apa lah machine ni, tak user friendly langsung!

Btw, it's not washing machine I want to talk about.
It's about what I said to a friend without thinking about another person's side-his boyfriend.
She told me she doesnt love the boyfriend, not entirely.

She claimed that the boyfriend is not rich and good looking enough to be admired.

I was speechless, she's my friend so I would just listen before I drop any comments.

She seemed unhappy with the relationship, not that the guy treats her bad.
In fact, the guy treats her superb! She told me that.
Apparently she's having this "Weekdays Scandal" with another guy-her colleague.
They go out almost everyday right after office hours.
I told her, dont play with fire-kelak membakar diri.

Even if she doesnt like the boyfriend, not satisfied enough with him..She could've just left him years ago.
Kesian, kesian kat boyfriend dia because I know him. A college mate of mine.

Hurmm...I cant say more because I really feel guilty after saying this-"It's your life, decide what you think best for you. If you think he's not the one, make a move, leave him. "

Damn, what did I say huh? Arghh..
Maybe aku tak patut cakap macam tu..Entah.
What a friend la aku ni..haishh..~~ Bad bad..

Tapi bila aku dok sorang-sorang tadi tunggu washing machine yg tak berapa difahami tu, aku mula fikir things I said to her this morning.
Then after regretting what I did, I texted her.

"Babe, if you really love him..please dont leave him.."

No reply, she was already in bed I guess.

The point here is:

1. Aku kasihan dengan boyfriend dia, maybe he deserves a better girl, yang lebih sesuai dengan dia. Not to say that kawan aku tu jahat, tapi kadang-kadang kesian. Her needs is beyond the guy's ability. Entah lah aku kesian kat siapa sebenarnya. Kawan aku tak happy, boyfriend dia kena betray secretly. Kalau mereka bawa haluan masing-masing, mungkin lebih bagus.
2. Kadang-kadang aku rasa mereka tak sesuai, tak sanggup dah dengar kawan aku tu komplen si lelaki tu tak kaya, perlu tanggung family lagi..Lelaki tu kampung..etc..Perit duh! Aku pernah marah kat kawan aku, "kalau tak suka why nak holding on? Break saja lah"
3. Aku tak tahu, macam tersepit. Aku confused. What else should I say to her, my friend. :(

Aku ada satu solution, kalau betul kawan aku memang nak break up, please leave him peacefully and appropriately. Dont be a bit**, friend.
Jangan kasi false hope, aku cukup tak suka.

Lagi satu benda perit kawan aku bagitahu, although dia dah plan nak kawen next year dengan lelaki tu, tapi dia akan kawen dengan siapa saja yang dia rasa dia suka tahun ni, asalkan dia kawen.

Itu aku dah tak tahu nak cakap apa lah.
Dah la, nak tido. Esok tidur kat office habes lah. Bueks.

**Sayang, rindu sangat la..Sayang take care ok, I really heart you..nyte**

Siapa Tahu?

I have a Question:

"where to find make up artist yg provide natural look, no cakey or clown look with good and reliable brand? in NORTHEN part of Malaysia..bagi contact no please..thanks! :) "

I Need Time:)

Heylo all!
I was busy, super super punyer.
Been moving out from the old house, now I got a new room yang lebih kecil but soooo nice because it's painted blue.

Later I'll tell you more ok?
Now I deserve enough rest..:(

Eyh, rindu Encik Sayang la.
We both busy now, but still keep touch as frequent as we can la.
hehe.

Ok, buhbye!

Why (?)

You're there, I'm here. I'm going to bed, you're going to class. I rise and shine, you're saying goodnyte. We're gona have this for months..and it aint funny..

I need your attention, I need you to listen to all of my ramblings.
I know you'd do that.
But when have the time constraint, I bet I can have all that.

When Im sulking and you said "I have to go, dont have much time. I got class".

I can't stop you from leaving.

Tonight, I feel there's a hole inside my heart.

It's big.
It shows that I'm sad and I need you to accompany me.

Goodnyte.

Dumped Shit

No, I was not cursing when you refer to the title.

I'm under stress, it's about work.
My job is treating me pretty not-so-well.

It feels like cleaning up the dumped shit by others.

But I really hope I'll be strong and will be able to prove to them I can do it!
Sound skema kan? But I mean it peeps.
When the stress is hitting and striking, all I know is to work and work sincerely.
Walau apa pun orang buat kat kita, whatever task is given to us, as long as kita ikhlas, InsyaAllah hati tenang dan sabar itu akan datang dengan mudah..

I seek strength..
Tadi pakai heels and baju kurung ke office.
Lepas ni tak pakai dah, no second attempt please.

I'd rather wear long sleeve shirt saja.

Adios, mahu beradu.
Encik Sayang is travelling to Alexandria (Iskandariah).
Sayang cepat pulang ok, safe journey ya..:) *heart*
Goodnyte lovely girls..:)

Yang, ada present for you..Nah..:) Edited pic of yours..

Pelik ke Yang?

Hewlo world! Eceyh, apesal la nak spell out Helo as Hewlo kan..:P
So yeah, I came out with a new layout y'all! Hope I like it. haha. Sure lah I like, I chose it.
Pink and Green, boleh tahan.
You all suka tak? Suka tak? Suka la..suka ok..haha :p

Lately kan, I found out some of perkara tentang myself. 3 perkara ja.
Contoh:

#1
~I cannot see unread emails in my inbox. Mana-mana akaun email pun begitu. Entah lah, rasa 'semak' bila ada email yang tak baca. Rasa missed out some news pun ada. Lately lagi la, aku tiba-tiba sangat aktif berbuku-muka (facebook). Aih, jenuh nak delete semua notification emails tu awak..~

#2
~i dont prefer dress/baju kurung or apa-apa baju perempuan yang decoration nyer terlebih-lebih di bahagian leher nya. Macam ni. Foto courtesy of fotopage yang random. (^_^) Tak ke over beads di leher itu? Macam rimas pula.

#3
~Aku baru makan sebiji jambu batu yg agak besar. Now, dah sakit perut, nape yeaks? Alahan jambu batu ka? Moralnya, kalau nak travel jauh-jauh, usah consume jambu batu. Nanti minta mobile toilet pula. Ayok..~ Ops, perut dah pulas-pulasan nih..help...~

oklah, esok nak pergi kerja pakai baju kurung for the first time..:)

Tak Perlu

"to whom it may concern, no offense but I dont think it's a wise step to add me on FB because I will think twice or maybe more whether to accept it. cheers."

I was about to post this on my FB but..I had a second thought whether to post it.
Kinda harsh..?
Someone yang I dont prefer to have my updates.
Some people just dont realize that they're not needed.

Too bad.

OK, I have posted it.
Hihi.

Perempuan, Lupa Dirikah Kau?

Our all time favourite movie, kan? :)

Kita bile pula ya? :)

Morning people, ingat lagi entry ku-Curang dan Alasan?
If I'm not mistaken, aku banyak emphasize on perempuan curang kerana layanan terhadapnya tidak bagus..Lantas mereka cari channel lain untuk dapat perhatian..Kan?
But these day sejak aku lagi bergaul, berbual dan berdiskusi (ke bergossip ha?) dengan rakan-rakan lain, aku jumpa beberapa situasi.

Ada beberapa kes di sana di mana perempuan pula yang seakan lupa diri.
Kes #1:
Isteri orang, suami dan anak di KL tapi punyai pacar di Borneo ini.
Paling serius ku dengar, dia pernah hilang untuk beberapa hari dipercayai ikut pacarnya ke suatu tempat di Sarawak juga.
Perempuan itu juga pernah beri statement: "aku bebas, suami ku di KL."
Aku sedih dengar, kasihan suaminya.
Astaghfirullah, minta minta dijauhkan dari aku, familyku dan rakan-rakan sahabatku.


Sekadar pengajaran untuk semua.
Dulu aku pun tak elok mana, rasa seronok bila ada orang minat sana sini.
Perempuan mana tak suka kan? Jujur.
Tapi sejak tahun lepas, aku cuba berubah. Tak suka begitu.

Aku fikir, memang seronok terasa diminati ramai orang, tapi hakikatnya kau tak tahu of all yang suka kau tu, siapa yang sebenarnya ikhlas terhadap kau.
Tak perlu terlibat dengan ramai orang bab-bab hati dan perasaan ni.
Jika dah jumpa yang elok untukmu, jagalah dia baik-baik.
Moga jodoh kekal hingga akhir usia.
Amiin..:)

Secret Admirer

Friendly reminder:
Entry ini penuh unsur kegedikan. Tahap mengada adalah di paras merbahaya.

You all, nak tahu one thing?
I rasa kan I ada secret admirer la.
Bukan lah I nak perasan atau syiok sendiri, tapi ada someone ni..

Someone ni..Dia beritahu saya yang dia mesti akan baca blog saya.
Not only that you..
Dia juga mesti nak lihat facebook saya.
Setiap kali dia online, mesti akan lihat kedua-dua itu.

Betul tak..
..

...

....

.....En..

Encik Sayang ku?
Hehe.

Saya hairan juga, dia mesti akan lihat blog and fb saya whenever he goes online.
When I asked him why, dia cakap nak tahu my updates.

I said to him, "ala kalau kita borak2 di skype pun I will tell him more than he can see"

I dont know but he just love doing that. hihi
Hairan kan, masa mula-mula kawan dulu pun dia selalu baca blog saya, almost everyday.

Like now, if saya tak update blog dia akan tny: "bila mau tulis entry baru?"

Kan yang?
Hehe.

I pun secret admirer dia jugak, secret lah sangat kan:p

So both of us are admiring each other. (gila-terasa-sweet-pulak-tulis-macam-gini-segan-lah)

Picture for today:

Was taken during strawberry picking at Sheffield, last year. :)

Btw, not much update.
#1
Semalam niat di hati nak teman seorang kawan ni pergi salon.
Tiba-tiba saya pun ter..ter..ter buat hair treatment..
Tapi lega, ringan kepala ni.
Potong rambut? Takmo lah, sayang..:)

#2
Sejak semalam, saya dok improve ways to enhance my photo editing using photoshop.
Dah jumpa ilmu baru, nak enhance potrait and close up photo and how to letak 'watermark' on you photo-it's for photo protection purpose ya, so that orang-orang lain tak boleh senang-senang plagiarize gambar anda..:) For example macam dalam gambar di atas. Written as 'z.abdul | photography'
Ok, till then. Buhbye!

Tralalalalalala~

Sekarang dah boleh senyum..:)
Nak buat tak tahu je to all the problems.
Mari lihat gambar Chinese New Year celebration by MLNG. :)

Will You Walk Me Home If Im Not Myself?

Aku on hiatus tak lama, lagipun terasa nak luah something malam ni.

Bila ada mereka, I laugh like there's no tomorrow.
It's not that I pretend to be happy, but memang happy dengan mereka.
Bila balik rumah, macam hell.
Panas hati aku.
Tak macam dulu dah.
Aku nak tengok muka pun rasa tak lalu.

Mereka dua, aku seorang.

Aku banyak spend masa dalam bilik.
If aku tau mereka kat bawah, tengah having dinner misalnya. Aku rather dok dalam bilik.
Sebab tu, dah 4 malam aku tak makan malam.
Aku tak mahu makan, tak lalu makan.
Kalau mereka tonton tv pun aku rela tengok youtube.

Bukan aku tak pernah cuba untuk duduk dengan mereka.
Pernah, tapi gila macam awkward. Bukan macam, tapi ya.
Aku diam, dia diam.
Takda topik nak cakap.

Im not interested to hear anything from her, dia pun tak hingin nak bagitahu aku apa-apa.

Bila dia naik atas bilik, aku dengar suara mereka ketawa. Berjenaka.
Dulu dia banyak ketawa dengan aku, tapi sekarang bukan lagi.

Aku rasa sunyi dalam rumah aku sendiri.
Aku rasa asing, macam alien dalam rumah ni.

Tadi aku balik rumah dari open house, mereka dua orang sedang tonton tv.
Aku tak rasa nak lepak di ruang tamu.
Akibatnya, aku dengar lagu yg berulang dalam playlist aku.
Sampai dah bosan.

Aku sedih, sedih macam-macam.

Semalam flight Bintulu-KL aku cancel.
Flight untuk May nanti.
Slumber badak je cakap flight fully booked.
Wadehal. Padahal aku dah bayar semua, cakap fully booked.
Keling ke ape weh.
Aku emo sangat sebab until May nanti, 5 bulan lah aku tak balik rumah.
Aku rindu sangat nak balik semenanjung.

Aku call airlines yg sengal tu, marah-marah tapi tak shouting ar.
Aku cakap "you cannot do this to your customer. bla bla."

Aku penat. Call tu dah tarik kredit aku sangat banyak.

Aku tak larat lah.

Aku benci orang buat aku macam tuh.


Kenapa lately semua benda nak hentam aku ha?

Dah lah ok.
I had enough.

I deserve to be happy, just like before.

Mind my language, aku tak tertahan lagi nak luah semua ni.

Esok aku akan pindah barang ke rumah baru. Sikit-sikit la.
Lunch hour tadi aku dah register streamyx.

Aku harap lepas ni takda lagi kes kes macam ni.
Aku harap tak jumpa lagi housemate macam keling tu.
Fish you.

Aku penat layan kau, perempuan.

Dahla, nak lap air mata ni.

Air mata tak henti jatuh masa typing entry ni.

Maaf lah, aku loser jugak at times. :(

Ade ke orang nak sayang aku bila aku banyak problem macam ni ha? Bila Im not myself, bila aku sensitif, bila aku marah, bila aku rasa lemah dan penat.:(

I need a hug.
:(.

Sekian.

**I miss you so much. No time for us. I feel so empty.**

Hiatus

Sedih sangat malam ni.
Everything shoots me once at a time.

I'll be on hiatus from now on.

Dont know when will be back.

take care.

Myra Nak Aiskrim Ape?

Di suatu hari..

Aunty: Myra nak eskrem ape? Tunjuk la nanti attie (aunty) beli kan.
Myra: *Diam* Say no words.

Aunty itu pun tunjuk semua jenis eskrem tapi Myra tidak mahu satu eskrem pun.
Ada eskrem kon, eskrem mangkuk dan lain lain lagi.
Aunty itu macam bosan. Ape anak sedara nye mahu ni?
Agak lama Aunty itu melayan si kecil Myra yg baru berusia 2 tahun.

Tiba-tiba...

Jam handphone menunjukkan pukul 6.30pagi.
Damn, bas aku pukul 645pagi. Mana mungkin aku sempat bersiap-siap nak pegi keje dalam masa 15 minit.

Cis, aku mimpi layan Myra beli eskrem rupenyer..
Mimpi oh mimpi..

Then status di Yahoo Messenger ku masih tertulis "sleeping".
Pukul 7pagi, Encik Sayang online dan lihat status ku itu.
Apa? Masih sleeping?
Encik Sayang lantas menelefonku.
"Sayang, buat ape tu? Sayang kat mane?"

Aku sedang menepek-nepek bedak ke muka dan tersengih:

"err...kat rumah..terlambat bangun arini sebab mimpi.."
Terus Encik Sayang suruhku bersiap-siap untuk ke pejabat.
Ada rakanku akan tumpangkan aku, tapi dia pula sesat cari rumahku.
Kami berdua agak lambat sampai ke pejabat.

Hari ni walau bangun lambat, walau ada orang tu buat perangai bunguk pada aku, tapi tak apa.
Janji hidup aku yang lain tak dikacau.
Janji family, Encik Sayang dan kawan-kawan aku kau tak kacau.

Perempuan, aku dengar kau tak jadi kahwin?
Kau bawa mulut pula kata aku keluar dari rumah tu sebab aku rasa insecure and tak comfortable?
Damn you.
Aku keluar sebab kau yang indirectly halau aku sebab lelaki tu dan kau nak rumah tu kan?
Shit lah kau.
Dan orang bgtau aku yang kau sekarang sedang cari housemate baru?

Kau memang nak kena dengan aku ke?

Sabar weh.
Dah, I rest my case.

Tanjung Batu

Went to Tg Batu, had air kelapa. Fuh, nyaman.

When Im in the car, it's you I see.
When I listen to the songs, it's you in mind.

I think a lot today.
Doakan urusan kami dipermudahkan..


Goodnyte people.

(T_T)

Im bored.

Wah, tak pernah aku post entry just to say this.

Peace!

Public

Let's go public people.

Watery Eyes

Helo world! Sabtu hujan, bes gila tidur.
Time spent with photo editing and calling families back home.

Since the early morning I heard someone from next door (next room) crying.
Out lout.

Aih, serba salah aku.

Memang nak kahwin perlu nangis-nangis macam tu ke?
Or yang dihalau ni patut menangis?

Ha, cari lelaki single ok next time.
Laser, mind my language.

Tahniah Si Cantik :)

Hey people, referring to my entry--> Im Happy For You..
She replied my message:

"heyyy..dont wori..i understand u r now busy.living der..coming down to kl pon tk ckp masa..its oke..tho i wish u were here during my engagement like others but its oke..aku paham..next time ko blk lama skit kite hang out oke..rili miss u too..u r my one n only roomate kann.. i love u babe!"

Ini gambar ex-roomate ku yg baru saja jadi tunangan orang.
Congrats dear, cantik nya kau..as usual ..:)

Im so happy for her, really mean it because I know things she went thru..:)

Lagenda Kasyah Has Ended

People, I just finished reading the Lagenda Budak Setan series by Ahadiat Akashah. There were 3 books in total. Bought them last 2 weeks.
Aih, sungguh emosi bila baca buku buku kegemaran zaman sekolah dulu. Whatever it is, Kasyah memang legend! Im sure, most women nak boyfriend macam Kasyah? Agaga..dream on lah, he's just too good to be true. Mana ada lelaki macam tuh, terlalu baik deyh..
Terima lah your partner seadanya, mereka takkan boleh jadi watak dalam novel. Bear that in mind girls..:)

So yeah, got back from KK. Sampai demam you I jalan-jalan. Hehe.
Nak cerita apa lagi ya?
Oh ya, lately some people are just too good at provoking.
They kept saying and asking "eyh, camne kau survive long distance ni? Aku rasa susah jer.."

I told them, all we need are trust, patience and understanding.
Those three factors explain all, how to survive in LDR.

Tak percaya? Cuba lah:)

Apa Beza

Aku demam, semalam tidur selama 12 jam sejak pulang dari kerja.
Aku MC hari ni tapi belum pergi klinik. Tunggu kawan pulang kerja half day, nanti dia bawa.

Apa beza aku single atau married?

Aku rasa aku boleh hidup sendiri.

Maaf, aku sungguh emosi these past few days.

**Jangan sia sia kan aku, jangan gusarkan aku.**

Aku patut basuh baju dari semalam tapi tak larat nak turun ke dapur.
Give me strength...

Im Happy For You

To the one I stayed with for two meaningful years....

"Dear,
Aku baru blk dr KK Sabah.
Been really2 busy these days, coping up with my life in this isolated place.
I just saw your engagement pics.
You looked stunning, utterly gorgeous.
Congrats.

Babe, I really miss you.
Im sorry all this while, for the silence. For ignoring, for not replying.
I didn't mean to hurt you babe.
I really wish you would understand.
There are so many things I can never explain.

Im sorry I cant make it to the dinner last week because my family from Perak came over.

I know I'm not there in your heart anymore.
Sigh...Im sorry.


Why is this so sad?
:("

*tears are rolling down on my cheek*

Blue and Red, Checked!

esok jam 3am I'll be off to Kota Kinabalu. Akan melalui Miri, Brunei and finally KK.
Perlu bawa 2 passport: Biru dan merah.

Ada 3 kereta konvoi ke sana.
Journey 10jam, oh mesti penat nananana...~When I look at the map I went:

"biaq betoi kami akan drive sejauh tu weh...~~"
Muka terkejut untuk 3saat.
Tapi never mind, experience dulu baru tahu.

Sabtu pergi, Isnin insyaAllah kembali ke Bintulu.
Tak sempat reply comments kalian. Tunggu pulang nanti ya?
Doakan kami selamat.
Sayang, Im going for 2 days only. Malam Isnin dah boleh skype kembali..:)

Undoubtedly will be missing you, dear...:)

Nanti Za bawa pulang rantai mutiara ya..Eh silap orang:P.

Oklah, perlu tidur awal. bye bye korang..
mwahs mwahs..hehe

*hugs, kisshes and lots of love*,

Z

Sayang

Aby, Za tau Za dah tersilap blog tulis gini. Patutnye tulis di Lala Land..Hikhik.
Just Want to say that I really heart you.
After my family, you are my everything.

You're every single line of mine
You lend smiles on my face
You are one sweet guy of mine
You're the one I can trust
You're the one I can rely on

Ala sayang..tak reti pula berayat-ayat sebab dah ngantuk nih..Hihi..
Love you sayang, thanks for every single thing
Sorry too, whenever I went over the limit..*if u know what I mean..nges nges..*
May Allah bless us..

Doakan jodoh kita dimudahkan, diberkati dan doakan juga moga Za dapat jadi isteri yang baik untuk sayang..:)

Amiin..

Apa pun jadi kat Za, I'll be strong with you by my side..

Susah senang kita together kan aby?

**Thanks Allah, I found you last April..** :)

Gudnyte Bintulu..

Locking Myself

These days are unbearable for me..
A lot of things happened lately.
To be honest aku banyak termenung jugak, dont know why.
Balik kerja, I locked myself in my room.
Dengar lagu, baca novel.
Im not ready to talk to anyone in the house.
My heart was sorta scratched bila diminta cari rumah baru.
Aku tanya orang, ada bilik kosong tak rumah kau?
"apsal kau nak cari rumah nih? bukan kau baru pindah ke?"
"ada housemate nak kawen, die nak stay dalam rumah tu..so aku kena la keluar cari rumah baru"
Sigh..orang dok simpati kat aku tapi aku tak sedar pun aku semalang ni.
Wadehel, terlalu considerate pun susah. Kadang-kadang kena pijak kepala.
Dia minta aku stay sampai bulan puasa before aku move out.
Tapi tadi di office, aku nekad.
Aku beritahu dia.
"Im moving out next month".

:(

Tapi bila balik KL hari tu jumpa family, bila skype dengan Encik Sayang..Semua sorrow tu hilang.
Seriously, bila skype (skype-skype is free, very good for long distance) dengan Encik Sayang..kepala rasa ringan. Almost lupa segala serabut.
Aku lega ada dia, always there for me.
I really need them. They are my strength.

Just now I talked (YM-ed) with this someone.
The conversation was short, but deep. Affected me.
Erm.
Ni la penangan baca balik novel2 Ahadiat Akashah.
Jiwang oh aku ney..!~~

Sayang, am I ready to be your wife....?
Sayang, do u think Im good enough for you?
Do u think I layak for you?
Hukhuk...:(

*serabut...*

Life Is a Karma

What you give, you surely will get it back.
It's bouncing, it's karma.
You buat jahat kat orang, you dapat balasan.
You ambil hak orang, you happy sekejap je. Later on it will ruin you.

You nak kahwin dengan suami orang, I tak halang. Kahwin lah, tapi jangan minta ceraikan isteri pertama.
Jangan lah demanding sangat, kalau terpaksa bermadu tu, terima lah.
Siapa suruh bermain dengan api?
You nak jadi siti nurhasliza ke?


Tak terfikir ke, the guy (jerk) will do the same to you?

Dramas, Boo!

Banyaknya drama di tempat kerja.
This is the thing, bila kau kerja di tempat yg tak ramai komuniti melayu.
Banyak scandals, affair sana sini.
Aih, mintak dijauhkan.
Ya Allah, tetapkan lah hati aku dengan hati Encik Sayang..
We love each other much..

Or is it memang senario normal di tempat kerja?
Scandal itu perkara biasa?
No comment.
Korang rasa?

Problems, Stop Troubling Me..:(

Aku down lagi. Aih, benci this feeling.
Ingat tak cerita housemate ku yg overdosed aritu? She moved out, she left. For good.
So now tinggal 3 orang saja dalam rumah ni.
Sewa untuk 4 orang, 3 org yg perlu bayar.
That's not the case.
The worse thing is, sorang lagi housemateku akan kahwin June ni.
Paling teruk, sorang lagi juga akan kahwin September ni.
So nanti aku akan tinggal sorang. Gila!
Sigh. Sigh.
Paling paling teruk, housemate yg kahwin September ni planned dengan boyfriendnyer untuk tinggal di rumah ini juga.
In other word, I NEED TO MOVE OUT. Again!.
Berapa kali lah aku kena pindah, kena cari rumah lagi.
Aku tak tahu, apa solutionnya kali ni.
Whatsoever memang aku perlu cari lagi housemates. Aku cakap kat housemate kahwin September tu, aku taknak move out. Aku penat dah pindah, harap dia faham.
I asked her, why nak stay kat sini?
She said boyfriend dia tu yang nak.
Sigh, dah la aku tak berkenan dengan lelaki tu. Straight to the point je aku cakap, it's true.

Aku sgt2 tertekan. Perit nak telan.
To think of I will be left alone after this, already made me sad this morning.
I have no choice my dear, living in Bintulu.
I have limited choice of friends.

Sayang, I wish I could stay with you and I didnt have to think about this sickness:(.
Sayang, bring me wherever you go because they are all unbearable. :(
Sayang, cepat pulang ke Msia ok..Live with me. I dont want anyone else anymore..:(
Sayang pulang cepat, kerja sama-sama di Bintulu tau..
Wherever I am, it doesn't matter as long as Im with you..
I want to feel safe..with you that is:(
Sayang..I need you..Im so sad lah..Im so sad now..:((..


Entahlah, aku sangat confuse now. Serius, buntu.
Should I move out?
If yes, where to go?
If I stay, nak kena cari housemates lagi...sighhh:((((
Susah tau nak cari rumah di sini.

Aku Rasa Penuh

Hujung minggu hampir ke penghujung.
Balik saja dari Tganu, family dari Perak datang.
Gembira, I hate goodbye. Myra also hates it.
She cried out loud bila opah dan tokwan mahu pulang ke Perak.
Omma juga hampir menangis, lapor kakakku.
Aih, sedih.
Bulan Mei nanti aku pulang lagi, tunggu sayang sayangku..

555

Tganu+Money=?
Ok, sila jawap formula di atas. Please complete it. Hehe.
Tak dapat? Ni jawapan dia: {Tganu+Money=Splurge}.
Semalam aku cuba tahan keinginan yg mbuak-buak untuk beli dan terbelah. Lihat kain-kain cantik sana sini, siapa tak tergoda?
Maka, aku hanya beli 4 kain batik, 1 kain pelikat, 2 tudung dan 3 kain sutera for myself, kakak and mak untuk dibuat baju raya. Oh, aku silap kira semalam. I thought it was Rm500 only. It was RM450+RM45+Rm60=RM555. Aih, sakit jantung aku semalam. Serius. Budget bulanan dah lari sedikit.
Tapi bila aku fikir balik, berbaloi. Sebab alang-alang pergi Tganu, biar beli sutera batik yg gorgeous terus kan? So yeah, lepas ni perlu buat budget lagi, re-budgeting.

Now Im in KL, staying at my sister's house. Jam 809am dan aku rasa sungguh mahu mandi, tak sabar tunggu kedatangan parents dan adik-adikku dari Perak. yuhhuu!
Lepas Jumaat perlu pergi ke bangunan MARA, perlu settle kan sesuatu.

Malam ni aku ada babies' show. Encik Sayang mahu lihat Myra dan Baby Eryna on the webcam.
Rindu Myra katanya. Tapi Encik Sayang said, dia lagi rindu aunty Myra. He added: Nak kahwin dengan aunty Myra, bukan dengan Myra. :P.

Ok peeps, gotta go.
Sayang, cant wait to see you tonight. :)

Cerewet

Helo people! My course di Tganu ni baru habes, after lunch mahu shopping pulaaa..jomss!!~~ hehe..
Now nak cerita pasal cerewet. Fussy. How fussy you are?
Tadi I blog hopping, jumpa this one entry. Dia cakap dia risau, baju ke weddings kawan-kawan tak cukup. I was thinking, sape yg nak kawen, dia ka kawan die? Hehe..
Dia cakap banyak wedding to attend, hence the insufficient baju.
Aku rasa aku tak kisah pun, pakai baju ulang for 2 weddings. Say. Aku bukan artis pun, nak kisah even if aku upload gambar wedding on facebook, wearing the same baju ke 2 weddings. Contohnye la.

So now, aku rasa aku tak cerewet when it comes to:

1. Baju ke wedding kawan. If ada 4 baju for 6 or 7 weddings, I wouldn't mind repeating the same baju for 2 weddings. Pandai2 cari timing and place la kan?. Dont make it too obvious yg baju kau tu overlap. Hehe.
2. Makan, menu apa. Janji sedap. Sedapppp dan kena rasa. Contohnye, nasi ayam. Sup tu biarlah rasa sup, bukan rasa ayaq weh..
3. Birthday surprise. Seingat aku, aku tak pernah ada birthday party or any surprises on my birthday. Surprise yg macam..Semua orang pun datang ramai2..Lepas tu kau sebenarnya dah tahu pasal surprise tu tapi buat buat tak tahu, nak jaga hati organizer. Hehe. So yeah, aku rasa aku tak cerewet even if takde birthday surprise yg meriah macam tu. Tapi, kalau ada personal surprise for my birthday or for any celebration, wah..I loike! Hehe..
4. Look. Aku tak kisah pun rupa orang bila berkawan. Why I said this? Sebab ada kawan aku yg pilih rupa to be her friends. Hehe. Janji hati mau baik..
5. Kereta, my own. Aku memang berangan nak beli toyota or honda for my own car..But aku rasa for the beginning biar lah beli local car dulu. Ukur baju di badan sendiri. Mampu tu mampu, tapi mesti limited shopping list aku nanti if aku drive toyota or Honda. Sobsob..Lagipun, tak worth it lah guna kereta power di Bintulu. If you know what I mean.

Ok, now things yang aku cerewet about. Check these out:

1. Toilet. Toilet duduk, mesti kering. Lepas guna kindly requested to wipe ok..Aku juga rasa mesti kena ada tisu dalam toilet.
   
2. Pilih kasut. Bukti? I spent 4 hours just to find a pair of shoes. Sampai sekarang Im still in love with that shoes. I love you, shoe-shoe. Hehe.
3. Bila nak masak, teknik potongan bawang atau sayur itu penting. Serius lah, silap cara potong, memang off. Sebab tu aku jarang minta tolong dari others while cooking. Hehe. Tapi bila dah kawen nanti, it might change. Kan sayang? Masa tu maybe aku nak express cooking. Hehe.
4. Lipat baju. Although seni lipatan baju aku tak begitu memberansangkan macam Encik Sayang, tapi I tend to arrange baju ikut tone colour. Aih, seronok tau bila tengok baju2 in coordinated tone colour.
   
5. Aku suka lelaki wangi. Pandai jaga appearance. Lalala..
6. Aku suka bawa baju terlebih dan suka spare space dalam bag everytime aku travel. Entah lah, selalu fikir baju2 aku akan tidak cukup.
7. Tadi aku tak cerewet about baju kwe wedding kawan kan? Tapi untuk wedding sendiri, aku mesti lah memilihhhh..Hehe..Hari tu ada survey baju gitu2 aja on the net, tak tahu lagi nak fashion bagaimana.
   

Ok, done.
Nanti ada idea lagi I will add on.

Nak pergi lunch. Bye!

Jakun

salam and hi all..i tgh jakun ni..sbb baru first time blogging guna mobile phone..hikhik..i tgh ade course..dlm klas..agak mgantuk so i went on9..lalala..okla, ade revision session..buhbye u all..pasni i nak shopping tganu batik..mmuah..lots of love..

Jika Cinta

Jika cinta, jangan sakiti aku.
Jika sayang, usah lukai aku.
Jika rindu, dengarlah suaraku.
Jika kasih, ingatlah aku di sini.
Jika terimbau kenangan lalu, tonton lah gambar ku.

:(

Curang dan Alasan

Helo, pernah berlaku curang? Have you ever cheated on her/him?
Ok, di sini aku ingin beritahu alasan bagi aku dan melalui beberapa pemerhatianku untuk seseorang itu berlaku curang.
Bagi aku, lelaki dan perempuan punya alasan yg berbeza mengapa mereka curang.

Perempuan:
Perempuan terkenal dengan sifat setia, loyal to her lover. Tapi, they tend to berlaku curang bila layanan yg lelaki itu berikan tidak seperti yg sepatutnya. Contoh? Simple example, he treats her bad. The guy seems never appreciated her, ignore her in some ways, neglect her, bersikap acuh tak acuh pada perempuan itu, bercakap tak pernah lembut, selalu pow duit girlfriendnya, nak call jarang sekali, selalu marah marah girlfriendnya. Pada aku, element utama penyebab perempuan itu curang bila layanan buruk yg dia terima dari lelaki. Tetapi, aku tak rasa perempuan begitu cepat atau straight away akan curang. Proses berlaku secara natural. Contohnya, si perempuan tadi selalu bersedih dengan boyfriendnya, dalam vulnerable and fragile state maka selalunya ada kaunselor percuma. Dan selalunya, kaunselor percuma itu seorang lelaki, mungkin teman rapatnya sendiri. Lama kelamaan, hati perempuan tadi terpaut pula pada si kaunselor percuma tadi, tambahan pula dia rasakan kaunselor itu baik orangnya, perdengar setia. Aih, kebanyakan kaunselor free ini akan take advantage on the ruined relationship of her. Lagi fragile perempuan tu, lagi mudah dia terpaut pada kaunselor free.
The point here is, again I want to emphasize here, give your girlfriend ATTENTION and treat her nicely. Perempuan ni, kalau satu kau bagi, selalunya sepuluh dia akan balas pada kau. Percaya tak? Maka, jaga lah girlfriend kau elok elok ok, jangan sampai dia cari kaunselor free. :)

Lelaki
Lelaki curang selalunya bila dia rasa over confident "Eh aku rasa aku handsome plak, apa kata aku test market?"
Lelaki, different dengan perempuan. Selalunya bila perempuan tu treats him badly, dia akan terus dump perempuan tu saying "I cant stand you, I deserve a better girl".
Tapi, oleh kerana some men yg tak tahu bersyukur, dah ada girlfriend cantik dan sopan pun, masih mahu test market di luar.
Itu alasan satu.
Alasan dua untuk lelaki, dia curang bila dia rasa perempuan itu ada kekurangan yang dia rasa perempuan lain dapat compensate. Nobody is perfect right? True, but some men just cannot think of that.
Contoh terbaik, bila lelaki yg dah berkahwin. Bila isteri dah beranak pinak, badan tak secantik dulu, muka pun dah berkedut sedikit, mula lah dia rasa perlu cari leisure 'di luar rumah'.
Aku setuju dengan suami yg rasa isteri begitu tak menarik, tapi cuba fikir. Isteri tu juga lah yg melahirkan anak-anak kau, isteri tu juga lah yg memasak dan menjaga makan pakai kau.
Apa kata, instead of diam diam berlaku curang, cuba bincang baik baik. Tell your wife, what is happening and what you actually feel.
Kalau kau rasa cara dia dress up dah tak seksi bila dalam rumah, cuba la beli baju daring sekali sekala. Siapa lagi nak pakai, wife kau juga kan?
Bila kau rasa dia makin gemuk, give her moral support to work out. Pergi jogging sama sama, beli kan dia package untuk kurus kan badan. Petang-petang ajak main badminton ka. Kalau tak mampu beli product bagus, ajak lah wife tu senam aerobic di hujung minggu. Cewah cewah sweet gitu.
Eh, tapi unfair juga lah kalau suami tu sibuk nak komplen pasal isteri tapi perut suami dah mula boroi, badan pun tak jaga, misai tebal dibiarkan begitu saja, selekeh dalam rumah.
If you want satisfaction, look at yourself in the mirror dulu.

Ok, itu antara alasan curang yg aku dapat fikir.


What do you think of my alasan?
I repeat, these are only my alasan. Kalau kau punya alasan yg sama pun, logik juga kan?
Tapi once again I remind you, ini cuma alasan dan kita tak boleh escape and come out with excuses saja.
Kalau ada masalah, discuss baik baik.
Kalau memang no way out, putus lah baik baik juga.


Nota kecil: esok aku ke Terengganu. Gona stay there until Thursday. Ada course.
Bestnya!

Eh, nak tahu the reason I smile now?
Satu, kakak dia. Myra.
Dua, little sister yang baru 2 bulan. Eryna.