STRESS early in the mowning

waa...stressed up!
i need to go to London next weekend until wed 2nd april.
but i hav no place to stay .
i tried asking my friends but byk rumah yg full.
sigh..
terpakse la cmni..
any ideas?

hari yg hampir pengsan + kerinduan

MOOD: confused
penekanan terhadap perkara2 yg berlegar2 di kotak fikiranku

judgemental person
why..why org selalu salah anggap kt aku? org salu judge aku..n paling terkilan when derang judge aku smth yg aku dh try hard utk tidak jadi seperti itu. hurmmm..i used to be someone yg "i dun care what people might say or say abt me"
i want that part of me..back=( but the good thing is even org judge aku aper2 pun, im stil myself. it doesnt mean that aku xdgr ape yg org ckp but if those things mmg totaly salah and ape yg aku buat ni betul, why must nk dgr ape org kater?kite mmg tak boleh puaskan hati semua pihak kan?

trials in life
trials?mmg byk. everyday ader ujian. it's whether kecik or besar jer. mcm hari ni biaser jer..cume i didnt have any foods since last nite *sbb pergi meadowhall nyer psl and balik mlm*. yer i know my fault tapi stil xde appetite nk makan. akibatnyer, di kelas antennas pukol 410 ptg td mmg almost fainted la. nk senyum pn dh xlrt. (haha)


kerinduan
today i called my mom and she said that little cuddly dah off to kuantan to meet my bro in law's family. i know from mom's words she sounded sad. im sure she's going to miss her grandchild. spending time everyday with that little cuddly mmg ade effect kerinduan later on =p sabar yer omma..
me too omma, rindu amirah juger. (as if pernah jumper amirah jer =p)
sigh..rindu betul la kt little cuddly tu..=(

so-called a tiring day

MOOD: quite happy
today i only had 2 classes. 9-10 and 2-3
bet the gap i went back home and cooked for my lunch. nasi ayam (dh lamer tringin nk mkn).
i ate a lot. (bnyk la jugak). lapar after 1 day without nasi. (pls i cnt live w/out rice)
then at 21o pm i went to antenna class.
Ya Allah..mata ni sgt la berat. seriously mengantuk. penangan bgn terlalu awl kot nih..sigh
after class i went to tesco and got myself grapes, biscuits, soft drink (i dun care if u thnk it's not healthy haha). suddenly dlm tesco tu ader seekor anjing besar (it's for blind people). as usual la kn, i will get freak out everytime i see dogs haha ;p.
i waited for the dog to get out of the shop then i pay my stuff.
on the way back (while happily walking sambil dgr mp3) ader dgr org call my name:
eh eh eh.. kak aemy rupenyer.
die ckp sy sombong jer xtgur dier..sorry sis, kalau sy jln smbil dgr mp3 mmg xnampak saper2 dah even Lampard yg lalu depan saya hehe..
then borak2 sket..jln lagi..
mase tgh cross jln i bumped into my gossiping-mate-vivian. she's my coursemate. said hi to her and gelak2 sket ..sy pn jln lg..
finally sy smpi rumah.
penat.
mybe sbb ngtuk gk kot tu yg rs penat smcm..
i call my mom and asked for my cuddly niece but she slept already..(hi kicik..naper tdo awl sgt) i told my sis (the baby's mama) that i wanna talk to her baby and she replied: "u tunggu la for anther 4 yrs then she wud be able to talk haha" see..my kakak tuh..ader2 jer

tonight im hoping for an efficient night.
revise..revise..
btw, easter hols is just around the corner!
this week is the last week of lecture ! (ops..b4 the easter hols starts..) yuhhuu!
;)

windy early morning..

MOOD: mamai-mamai bgn tdor ;)
monday morning (sigh..works+classes again)
i woke up early. as early as 5am.
i woke up this morning and heard strong wind outside. is it a bad sign?naah..don't be superstitious zakiah..
nways, to-do list for today:

• classes
• tutorials -> study group (please la it works)
• research on my project
• cook! (nasi ayam?)

start my day with a big smile and bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

beautiful day..

first of all alhamdulillah..today is sunday and a beautiful day i should say.
there are a lot of things i want to bring up here.

GENERAL ELECTION in MALAYSIA (who are going to be our leaders?)
hari ini dalam sejarah. itu jer yg mampu saya katakn. general election di msia kali ini menyaksikan kekecundangan BN yg gagal mendapatkn 2/3 majority. more surprisingly biler oppositions menang besar di Penang, Perak, Kedah, Selangor dan Kelantan (expected).
im not trying to be bias here. saya tidak membelahkn mana2 pihak. apa yg saya ingin ialah Malaysia menjadi negara yg aman damai, maju membangun dan moga2 social problems dpt dikurangkan.
mungkin ader hikmahnyer results election kali ini. tahniah kepada yg menang. mungkin rakyat msia ramai yg dh 'bgn dr tdo'. that's good people.
as for me, saya mengharapkan perubahan yg lebih baik. siapa pun yg perintah, asalkan semuanya akan jd lebih baik.
jika kebaikan ini berterusan, saya tahu apa mahu buat for the next 4 years. kan?
walau pada mulanya saya gusar melihat perak bakal dikuasai DAP. (omg..im not trying to be racist ke aper yer)..i just want my state to be lead by my people. it's my land. tapi according to the law, negeri2 beraja akan di perintah oleh orang melayu juger.
alhamdulillah, for the time being the new MB of Perak is going to be Ir Mohamad Nizar Jamaludin. i dun mind, as long as he can be a good and respectful leader. go Ir! =)

hurm..last but not least, i want Malaysia to be better and better..Allah knows best..indeed:)

Who is going to be my leader then?
my leader?yes leader. what i meant was the person i am going to choose to lead me to go through this challenging world. plus, someone who wud be able to guide me to go to the 'syurga' later..
hurmm..topic mcm ni saya tak pernah utarakn di mana2 blog saya. in my previous blog pn saya tak pernah bicara soal pilihan hati,soal jodoh.
mengapa ya?ambil mudahkah saya soal ini?
bukan juga..cuma saya tidak mahu fikirkan sgt soal2 hati dan perasaan ni.
tp bila memikirkan saya perlu juga kdg2 bicara soal ini, saya akur. so this is what im doing.
erm firstly saya lebih prefer guna informal language..ya? lebih kasual..

biler ade org tny sy "kamu suka org yg mcm mane yer zakiah?"
itu soalan agk ssh nk dijawab to be honest..
yerla..masakan sy nk specify lelaki yg bgaimana sy nk plih utk jd teman saya. sbb sy percayer, sy akan boleh teruskan dgn someone tu bila sy tahu sy boleh get along dgn dier..sy rase selesa dgn dier..=)
1. brainy
one thing i noticed abt the opposite sex is the brain. i prefer someone yg smart and brainy. brainy here xderla smpi kene dpt 4 flat in every sem ker..or dpt 1st class deg in every exm. brainy here means die pndai handle situations.
2. beragama.
hurmm..firstly sy tak mksdkn sy mahu seorang ustaz ke or ahli ulamak. sy tahu impian tu terlalu jauh buat sy. cukuplah dier faham hukum agama. memahami hukum agama ni penting. kerna sy tahu die la yg akan menegur sy biler sy slh dan sebaliknya. and sometimes maybe die boleh kasi peringatan kt saya..i wish..
3. sabar
sabar. saya ni boleh jd complicated at times. ssh nk read sy. sy boleh jd seorang yg unpredictable,sensitve juger. oh ssh kan menjadi sy? hence, i do think only lelaki yg sabar dgn sy jer yg boleh get along dgn saya. plus, skg ni sy ade mslh dgn internet connection saya. terlalu kerap DC. dahla terlalu kerap DC, nk log in ke YM pn sh juger..sy pn dh stress. i know some people might think prob ni kecik jer. tp tak bagi saya sbb selalunyer akan affect 'feasibility' org lain utk chat dgn sy. so now u can see kan org yg sbr jer boleh tahan nk kwn dgn sy hehe;)
4. memahami dan full of efforts
memahami di sini ade kesinambungan dgn sabar di atas as i mentioned previously. okla sy bg contoh:
biler ader conflict bet us, mase ni la kesabaran dan sikap memahami itu penting.
biler 2 bnde ni dh fulfilled, effort pn kene ader, effort utk selamatkn kembali rship tuh. igtla, based on true-self experience, once slh sorang dh kurang effort, hati akan tawar. the reddish love wud slowly fade away.

5. sayang dan trime saya seadanya
"i give u my heart, if it's not enough then im not enough for you"
to me, loving me is accepting me as who i am.

sekian.
mgkn ader point yg sy missed out. tp takper. itu yg sy terfikir buat mase ni.


btw, i always heard someone says this:
jodoh itu bukanlah sesuatu yg paksaan.
ia akan dtg dgn natural ttp kita sbg manusia harus berusaha utk ke arah itu. bkn dgn hanya bersembunyi di satu sudut sahaja.

goodluck zakiah =)