Hati yang Rajuk

post ini special to my friend yg tgh merajuk haha..
eh kamu..
jgn lari lame sgt k..
nk rajuk pn kejap2 sudah.
in less than 3 weeks wer not gonna have those days anymore hehe.

u said u want to run away aite? tot u oredy did it;)

all the best in our exams ok. aja2 fighting!!

*when everyone is leaving me. when u leave, just leave. dont turn back.*
***pening nyers with these formulas. saper la cipta engineering electromagnetics nieh..***

One of The Ways Of Rejecting Is To Ignore

do u know when im mad?
aish..i dunno exactly what i feel. marah ker?geram?rimas?lemas?
me tak tahu. all i know is i need space. i just need some time alone. do what i like.

im sorry but no offense..

if i want to talk to u then i'll find u. 'u' here refers to anyone related to me ok?frens, etc. no particular person i refer to. no bf, no no no. dun get me wrong peeps.

when im not feeling good about any particular things, when i have no one to talk to, i'd rather shut my mouth up. baik diam jer.



*one of the ways of rejecting is to ignore*

*sambung study formula yg pelbagai sampai pening*

28th May 08

no title since no particular subject to be discussed today ;)
i was done with my 1st paper this morning..alhamdulillah..hope everything will be ok.

my next paper is on Tuesday-3rd June 08.

28th may, counting the days for flight to Malaysia..another 23 days to go. yippie!!
i have planned with my sis to have a birthday party for our youngest sister. i got her some presents as well..

oh thinking of what to cook for today. 'ayam masak merah' will do :)

hurmm..just now i browsed through something.
some pics.
lessons i got from them:
be humble..always.
be thankful for what i am having.

*missing my familia much.* oh ya..i got my mom a mobile phone. samsung, just like the one i bought for myself hihi..my sister ordered the same phone. aish.. 3 of us are going to have the same purplish+pinkish phone

Spring Semester Examination

here is the exam schedule for spring semester..
wish me luck..all the best for myself..
u can do it Zakiah Abdul Mutalib

*study..*

Sempurna

Kau begitu sempurna
Dimataku kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diriku
Akan slalu memujamu

Disetiap langkahku
Kukan selalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa kubayangkan
Hidupku tanpa cintamu

Reff:
Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku kau begitu....
Sempurna.... sempurna....

Kau genggam tanganku....
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata
Dan hapus semua sesalku


we might have found a person..who is being a talk of the town..seems perfect to everyone.
but it doesn't mean that he/she will make u happy.


'we are not loving a perfect person but we love an imperfect person..perfectly..'

"like is when we like the great things about him/her..love is when we learn to accept their flaws..:) "

Remedies of the...erm..month!

im tired.
otak penat, jari lenguh. as if byk je study.

hurmm...
i think today went fairly unwell.
i got stuck in my room for almost x hours. waiting to make calls, making some decisions, listening to some problems, and thinking of how could i feed myself without stoves. (my oven and stoves exploded).

ok, calls made.
decision making went quite smooth.

to feed my hunger, i created a new recipe. i know that im creative.
i remembered the other day i bought 3 cans of mushroom cream. rice cooker can help. i cooked them by using rice cooker. added some black pepper and chopped mushrooms into the cream. it was yummy.

oh..what to eat with the cream?ahha..i have this kuetiaw but need to be boiled . boiled it by using microwave.

after almost 20mins, done. never thought my 'new recipe' would taste that great (haha..)

i called mom and told her abt the explosion. mom, dun worry ..as usual..i can survive.

after having 2 bowls of 'kuetiaw mushroom cream' i decided to go out. i cant stand of always having to go downstairs just to make a call.
i need a phone in my own room.

off to tesco.
got myself a new phone.

i tried to find the cable extension as well but no choice at all. too much expensive. not worth while i guess.

got myself some indulgences too. hik!
chocs-ferrero rocher and toblerone dark choc.

oh not to forget on the way back home, i got myself some other remedies of the...ermm...month!
a handbag (awaited ones!) and a pair of shoes. hihi..

lalalalala..

Serba Salah

fuh..lega rasenye.
td ade settle kn bills etc..
now bank account dah updated..duit yg tggl mmg cnfrm mine..dun get deceived by the amount if the money are not urs;)

i have been a 'good' girl for not being shopaholic in the past few weeks. great..great..

now tgh pening with studies and some other matters.

serba slh pun ader..
nak teruskn ke ek internship?
ke tak perlu?

summer ade plan lagi bes kot?

if tak internship..i can..
enhance skills..
hehe
oh i need someone to talk about this.

it's hard

it pushed me to the limit.
why..why things are getting hard on me?
why is everything seems not right?

why cant i rely on u?

i hate myself for trusting someone like you
i know i shouldn't have trusted you.

im a person who always think everything is going to be OK.

i can't pretend anymore.

ergh..

i feel like a burden.
i want to tell but i dont have it.

i hate voice msg.

i know im not important.






*i really hate myself for that*

it is bitter. hurt. painful.

lesson for today.

My Sevens..

i was tagged by elly! notty u girl..;)


7 fakta tentang saya:

1. im a sensitive girl. try me haha..
2.i love to eat. really2 love eating. im not fussy. i eat any foods as long as they're yummy and shedap.
3.im the 3rd from 10 siblings. i have 4 sisters and 5 bros.
4.i love musics and arts. photography not to forget. suke ambil gmba dan diambil gambar. yuhu!
5.when i was in my primary school i love reading. i love comics, mags, story books, something more advance than my age, i.e sejarah sekolah menengah (haha)
6.saya seorang yg mengader ngader but with those yg saya dah biaser lar..;)
7.i love dancing . hik!

7 perkara yang menakutkan saya(kat dunia)
1.the greatest fear-The Almighty, Allah
2.reptiles..it's more to geli haha..
3.im afraid of losing someone or something i love. :(
4.saya rasa semacam bile naik kereta and lalu bridge..nampak sungai perak yang besar tuh..scary..dunno why..sbb i imagined i jatuh ke sungai tuh haha
5.crminals
6.snakes. tak pernah jumper live lagi la. mesti pengsan seminggu
7.saya takut darah. ergh..mesti pengsan juger


7 lagu buat masa sekarang
1.sum 41-with me
2.beethoven-moonlight sonata
3.jason mraz-im yours
4.lisa loeb-stay
5.ingrid michaelson-the way i am
6.secondhand serenade-fall for you
7.the feeling-love it when u call ( i think this song is funny)



7 perkara yang selalu saya sebut
1. hihihih..
2. erm..
3. hurmmm..
4. ooo ek..
5. hahaha..
6. hukhuk
7. weekkksss/blueks

haha..tu sumer ade maksud yg tersendiri..those people yg selalu Ym dgn saya pasti phm :)


7 perkara yang amat bernilai
1. Iman dan islam
2. Keluarga
3. Teman-teman
4. Peluang untuk belajar
5. Pengalaman
6. Ilmu
7. Kisah silam


7 "pertama kali" dalam hidup saya
1. i got my first niece this year. she is damn cute! haha.. adorable too! sekarang i heard die tgh belajar meniarap. die pernah nangis sbb xberjaya meniarap. haha..how cute baby..
2. first time i involved myself in a play when i was in KMS. i used to be someone yg tak reti langsung berlakon ok! tup tup mase inter class drama kt kolej dulu i won the BEST ACTRESS! huhu..surprising..
3. first time pegi botanical garden is this year too! haha..aperla..da 3dr yr baru nak pegi =p
4. first time i have to be thousand miles apart from my family when i arrived UK. i cried for almost 9 hours in the plane haha..syyyhhh =p
5. first english word i used to say was-LOOK! mase tu kecik..nampak jer bende sket..i wud say..LOOK! haha..how funny..
6. first boyband that i fall for was-westlife! phewwitt! =p
7. first experience of living in hostel when i was 13. too early to be independant. was it?

7 orang yang bertuah(kena jawab tag nie)=)
1. Zaky chan
2. Sul
3. Cenad
4. Ili
5. Emy
6. Muni
7. Atie

hehe..korang mesti jawap okeh..

People Come and Go..

In my life, people come and go..
jumpe kawan lame dan kawan baru..rasa selesa together ..im glad..ade yang stay kawan sampai sekarang..ada yang dah pergi ..lost contact..or sbb die ade commitment lain. tak same path etc.

talking about people come and go ni make me think of my gemstones back home-MY FAMILY.

yesterday i received one sad news from my little sister-her friend's dad just passed away...it was so sudden she said..innalillah...

aku pun terkedu dgr briter tuh since aku ader jugak kenal kwn2 adik aku nih..
sabar yer..be strong girl

tibe2 hari ni aku teringat kat parents pulak. that sad news somehow makes me think of my family esp my parents. what if aku juger terima berita yg same?we never know aite? ajal maut di tgn Nya..

so tgh buat something suddenly rasa mata aku dah bertakung..sebak sbb aku tahu ajal tu kite tak boleh nk duga when it comes.

air mata tibe2 berlinang..isk..isk..(jangan la nangis..)

aku belum well prepared utk hilang any of my families yet..Ya Allah..lindungilah mereka dari segala bahaya..

at least bagi aku peluang utk balik tgk derang summer ni..(aku balik msia dlm sebulan lagi )

aku kagum dgn org yang dah pernah face berita sedih cmtuh sbb aku tak pernah lagi..mugkin Allah tahu aku belum mampu nak face berita sesedih itu lagi..
kehilangan yang bagi impak kat aku was when i lost my cats. 2 cats.

it made me cry juger ..beberape hari gak tak leh tgk gmba kucing2 aku..hemo-hemo mati sbb sakit and kitty pulak hilang..both of the cats were named by my little sister. she loved them very very much .

kucing pegi pun aku dah sedih mcm tuh..what if my family (esp parents) yg pegi?

hurmm..

same2 sedekahkan al fatihah tuk mereka yg dah takder..
:(

so korang yang bace blog aku nih..when did the last time u called ur family?

adios..

Akibat Berniat Malas

semalam hari khamis. i was assuming smlm mmg tader kelas including kelas antenna & radar at 410pm sbb lecturer nyer (Alan Tennant) ckp last week's lecture was the last class.

so hari khamis yg bes..terasa nak mkn nasi lemak plak..tu pun pk 2-3 kali nk msk ke tak sbb ptg tu ade invitation makan kt rumah senior 5 filey (malas 1). tapi pk2 balik tghr nyer mesti lapar..

dalam tgh pkir2 tuh elly (coursemate) ade ckp yg die ade jotted down something kt note die " next week Alan nk kasi handouts" so kami 2 orang mmg pening..ade kelas ke tak ni ptg ni? aritu dah last lecture tapi nk kasi handouts ape this week?then kami tny sorang lg coursemate kami, die akan jumpe Alan n akan tny ade kelas ke tak..

back to nasi lemak..aku decide utk msk..decide pn da pukul 252pm mase tuh..aku da luper da pasal ade kelas ke tak mase tuh..so masak ngn yer2 la..bagai ha..siap bwk laptop turun ke dapo haha..sambil masak sambil YM n dgr lagu..lalalala..
aku msk mmg complete set of nasi lemak..sambal tumis+telur+ikan bilis goreng. eh timun tader plak..nak g kedai nih yg malas.
tapi terpkse pegi la sbb aku mmg suker ade timun sekalik. dgn sweater dapo tuh aku pn pegi kedai yg terdekat. mcm tukang msk yg prof plak pegi kedai cmtuh ;p

then touch up sket nasi n sambal..nasi lemak done!
tgk jam kat laptop da pukul 340..baru nk start makan..suddenly:
ade orang YM:
elly: z ko dah siap ker nk g kelas?
z:eh kelas ape ni elly? (innocently tak tau ade kelas)
elly: ptg ni ade la kelas antenna..cm biase kol 410. ko siap2 la ek
z: oh ye ke. naper tak ckp awl..aku br nk mkn ni elly.smpt ker?aku nk g tapi takut tak sempat jer (nada baik dan rajin)
elly: aku dah cakap tadi kt YM...sempatnyer..cpt2 siap tau (sah dah, internet aku buat hal lagi..DC pastu aku tak dpt msg org lain. jhtnyer internet nih!)

then dgn lajunyer aku mkn...sedihnyer..dah la aku mmg dah prepare meals tuh dgn orange juice. lepas mkn trus off laptop and naik atas cpt2..tgk2 elly dah ting tong rumah aku..aku dah cuak nk pakai tudung mane nih sbb tader tudung yg sedia ade nk ke kelas..
ok found 1. grab trus pakai. notes sumer tak sempat nk amek..pencil case lagi la..(tah ape yg aku bawak g kelas pn aku tak tau..beg je besar haha..)
tapi aku smpat grab buku yg nk kene return to library (mmg kene return sbb dah kne denda..abes duet..)

then dgn kelam kabut nyer aku turun tangga rumah..laju abes..
jln ke kelas dgn rasa comot giler haha..nasib la.

on the way ke kelas tuh elly call coursemate kami..
"kt kelas dah ade orang ke?ramai?" (dlm hati berharap kelas cancel)
"eh ader je ramai dtg nih.."

so kami jalan laju2 lagik..

then dah nk smpai department tuh kami nampak ade someone ni yg tgh smoking kt 1 building nih..
"eh itu mcm Alan kan..ade kelas ke tak ni ek?" (dalam hati kami berdua masih berbunga harapan utk takde kelas)

"aah la..Alan..ade kelas tak ni..ape kate kite pegi je kt die and kite tny die je la.."

baru je kami nak pegi kt die..Dr Alan pun done with his smokey job..rupe2 nyer die pn nk heading to department..kt tgn die ade je kertas2 yg nak jadi bahan mengajar..
haha kami sgt malu sbb baru je nk g kt dier..tup tup die pn nk g department..so confirm lah ADE KELAS!

kami jalan depan dier..laju2 sket sbb obvious lak nnt kami lambat..smbil jalan tergelak2..yg aku ni ha comot bagai g kelas..pakai seliper jer plak tuh hehe..

kat kelas plak aircond dier kuat..(sejuk)

Dr Alan went thru past year paper..

tgh concentrate dlm kelas tuh elly ade bisik smth kt aku (after aku tgk die belek2 notes dier)

"z..rupenyer yg aku tulis die nk kasi handouts tuh..last last weeknyer notes..die dah kasi la handouts tuh last week..aku silap tgk notes"
haha..ely ely..
die g tgk notes yg week 9..week 9 ckp akan dpt handouts next week (week 10)..now dah week 11..haha..pening lagi..
eh eh concentrate blk..

abes kelas mcm biaser..pastu return buku..
aku jalan pulang..

ptg yg kelam kabut..tapi njoy sajer..;)

p/s: elly, next time tgk notes btol2 yer =p

PISSED OFF

there are 2 main reasons for the title.
1st, smlm my crap internet connection buat hal. sungguh uji kesabaran. almost 2 hrs getting on n off. ok dah mls cter sbb tak sumer org akan phm betapa crapnyer internet aku tuh.

2nd, my little sister. bkn pissed off kt dier. tp with things happened to her.
yesterday she had her exams. tapi since rules kt intec yg mse exam u have to put all ur belongings outside, smthing bad happened. all of her belongings-hp, purse, cash, bank cards and her newly-bought mp3 player GONE. STOLEN baybes!

i dunno who to blame but i think u made the rules and i guess u must have the responsibility to take care of others' belongings TOO! hey..she obeyed the rules and u mesti la jalankan tggungjawap-brg2 student yg tinggal kt luar tuh adalah AMANAH ok.

i knew this brg2 hilang thingy smlm when my mom text me. so arini baru tahu cter betol nyer.

sian giler adik aku. dah la tgh exam. esoknyer ade 2 pper lagi. brg2 hilang. and u can expect what she felt la kan. i told her to do smth-admin must know what to do.follow up.

ergh..to be honest aku sgt pissed off.

and u know what, biler adik aku nk block her bank cards. kene charge pulak. sim card hilang pn kene charge. dah org accident mcm tuh pn nk chrge2 ker? dah la die tgh takder duit after incident tuh..nk bli tiket bus pn dah xleh.
urgh..
i still remember last december aku lost my purse too-bank card pn hilang tapi bank trus post a new card without any charges!

urgh..it so stressful dgr news cmni when u thousand miles away kn?
die nk buat follow up tapi tula..tgh exm kan..

sabar ok cenad..
let kakak and abg kerol know..they are there to help.

a big SIGH.

btw, she told me how did our mom react to hear this. she said mommy was calm and ckp "takperla..bnde dah nk jadik"

owh mommy..thnks for being cool sbb im not a cool sister for the time being. huhu..

Survey 4

Are you single?
- tader soalan lain ke?.
Hows your heart?
- ok jer. alhamdulillah
Have you cried today at all?
- no dear..im just ok:)
Do you want to be in a relationship?
- when the time comes, yes. with someone right:)
Do you actually believe in perfection?
- imperfect is cute. perfection is tiring.
Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?
- owh Sun, i call upon thee! do shine my days, please..
What do you think about before you go to bed?
- macam2
Last time you did laundry?
- a couple of days ago.
Do you fight with your parents?
- nope
Where did you sleep last night?
- my room
Do you want kids?
- yes please:)
How many close friends do you have?
- banyak
Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
- yes.:)
Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
- indeed.
What are you listening to?
- muse-supermassive black hole
Would rain actually stop you from going somewhere or ruin your plans?
- sometimes yes
Name one person you wish you were still close friends with?
- no one
Last time you saw your parents?
- sept 07
What woke you up this morning?
- nothing
Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
- i wish :)
Did you kiss or hug anyone yesterday?
- no..
Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
- jihan kot..
What was your first thought this
is morning?
- hurmm..
Who was the last person you hugged?
- cudnt recall
Do long distance relationships work?
- it'd work with the right person:)
Did you have a good weekend last weekend?
- not really
Who do you wish you were with right now?
- chace crawford. haha.
Would you rather talk on the phone or text?
- on the phone.
Do you listen to music everyday?
- almost all the time.
What did you do last night?
- resting.
What are you doing tonight?
- kene study T_T
Is anything bothering you?
- nothing
Do you miss someone?
- very.
Are you in a bad mood?
- no. rather emotionless.
Are you a jealous person?
- at times.
Who's the sexiest person alive?
- chace crawford. tlg la tahu
Name a song that reminds you of old memories?
- graduation by Vitamin C.
Do you like the color gray?
- no.
Look outside, how's the weather outside?
- gloomy.
Are you jealous of anyone right now?
- no.
Name something great that happened today.
- i just woke up la dearie.
Do you regret doing something today?
- nothing
When you think of the rainbow, what color pops in your head?
- purple
Where would you like to be?
- HOME!
Have you been happy recently?
- not quite.
Math, English, Science, or Social Studies?
- musics. boleh ker?
The person you dislike gets killed by a train, how do you react?
- convey my condolence?
Name a class that you really dislike?
- i like all lectures hehe..nerdy huh
Do you collect anything?
- handbags. shoes. rings
Are you going somewhere today with a friend?
- shopping :)

Strangers..

today feel like having a long long day .phew!
i had my study group. lamer gak la. 1045am-210pm.

tapi alhamdulillah dpt recap banyak bnde.
arrived home. in hunger. i ate the leftover crab salad. not bad la esp bile top up some chilli sauce. baru umph.

check my mails. laptop plak buat hal when i tried to copy some of the newly-downloaded gossip girl series. aishh..laptop nih buat hal di kala2 genting.
so i try la restart lappy tuh dlm 3 times. sigh.. geram.
i dun like it when lappy ni hang2 and lambat. dah defrag pon nk lambat2 like siput sedut. tapi now ok.. good lappy.

then ade dpt text from omma saying that cenad lost her stuffs. IC..aper crits ni cenad?
roger ok bile bace blog nih

hurmm one more thing recently mcm ramai plak add dlm fs. unknown peeps.
one thing about me- i dun like strangers. i just dont feel comfortable. i mean without proper self-intro mmg boleh turn me off. at least u send me short message kan ckp aper2 ker..bla..bla..etc..that'd sound better.
so sorry la peeps sometimes i might just reject the friend request. unless u ni adalah 2nd degree frens ker..someone yg ade kaitan gak with me or my frens..itu lain crits..
bukan aper, to me fs tuh tmpt utk lihat update rakan-rakan..so i nk tgk update my frens. bkn update strangers. sorry to say. no offense

hurmm ape lagi nk ckp ek..

nk tgk gossip girl eps 17 tapi blom ade org upload lagik..tggu mlm sket kot..makin bes plak tgk citer tuh..

hurmm i think i need to have rest. even though ari ni plan nk kuar shopping tapi mcm unlikely jer kuar ptg nih. da lambat da..esk la..since esok no class!! yey!

esok boleh tgk handbags canthek2 and nk survey ipod lah. sbb my mp3 ade prob la..body elok lagi tapi tmpt battery die dah rosak la. sighh. (sigh yg pure2 hehe)
ckp psl shopping, i was planning to get some new clothes tapi kan smlm lepas lipat baju and tgk bilikku dah penuh baju..smpi tak muat dah nk ltk mane..
then pkir2 balik cmne nk bli bju baru..dah penuh sgt almari tuh...

hurmm tapi mahu baju baru juger..mahu pls.

tapi mke sure ade duit yer nk bli ipod ke ape..
tak baik mmbazir kan. banyak lagi bnde penting kne bli nih..esp dah nk grad next yr..kene ade duit sket..(tibe2 jadi baik financially)

okla.. penat da arini ..chiows..!~~

Seducing Mr Perfect

i just watched this one Korean movie-Seducing Mr Perfect.
i found something very valuable in it.
the story is basically about a woman who has been dumped.
she learnt a lot about the rules of love:
basically, according to the movie, love is like a game. a game of manipulating emotions to control the mind, a game of power. it is also a game that requires a great precision and planning.
in addition, it was also mentioned that the one who displays affection first will give up total control.
e.g the woman was the one to call first and the ex-boyfriend was the one to hang up first.


i will not elaborate on the how the whole movie was like.
but all i know is i also have learnt something from the movie.
treating someone too kind would result some bad consequences too.
is it our fault for being nice?



things would be different if u meet someone right.
then let's look back of what stated in the movie and compare it to the situation of seeing someone Right
"love is like a game. a game of manipulating emotions to control the mind, a game of power. it is also a game that requires a great precision and planning."


-do we need to manipulate her/his emotion when we found our soulmates?
No. there is no manipulation of emotions in love. the feelings will come naturally without force, mutually.

-"the one who displays affection first will give up total control."
is it true? it'd be a yes if you are seeing someone who is taking advantage on you, someone insincere towards you. it'd be nice for your soulmate instead. he/she would love to see how much you love them.


hence, love will be no longer a game but a healthy, peaceful and highly promising future for both of you.

it pained me to hear that the failure of the relationship was all coming from me. i was all to blame.
finally, another dialog i would like to requote here :
it's not your fault, he was just not the right man for you.

how surprising to know that it took ages to realize that you have chosen a wrong man. somehow the movie reflected my previous failed relationship.

i accept the rules, partially. (referring to my previous experience)

Thus, the conclusion is :
the woman has tried her best to be the best woman for the man.
the relationship failed due to the incompatibility between them.



like one of my friends said, God works in His mysterious way, just have faith in Him. You just need the right time, right setting and then the right person will come along,so don't worry. Keep on smiling, u never know who'll fall in love wit your smile :)

The Good Old Days..:)

Aku siapa? Siapa kenal aku? Siapa tahu aku?
Baiklah name diberi Zakiah Abdul Mutalib. Cube la korang try cari makne name aku tuh yer. Aku dah tahu dan biar aku simpan sorang2 hehe..
Aku ade 10 beradik. Aku anak ke3. Aku lahir di Perak, dibesarkan di Melaka and Sg Petani. Aku tgh dlm process mencari kenangan2 lamer di skolah-primary and secondary.

Darjah 1-4 (Sek Ren Keb Kem Terendak-SRKKT)
aku cube utk igt kenangan zaman kecik2 dulu. kecik sgt ni baru abes tadika. Mase darjah 1 aku igt lagi aku ade 2 org kwn baik, Fikri dan Zalina. Kami salu lepak together2 and position kelas pn kami yg conquer haha...yg aku igt Fikri ni sgt pandai. naper aku ckp die pandai ek?sbb die terer hafal sifir kecik2 dlu..and aku tahu adik beradik die yg lain pn pandai2...darjah 1 gak aku salu kene bwk berus gigi kecik n ubat gigi yg nurse kasik. eh cawan pn kene bwk kn..pastu gosok gigi ramai2 kt skolah hehe...comel giler biler igt balik.
masuk je drjah 2 aku ade sekelas ngn sorang budak ni. die jadi monitor klas. x bp igt name die. Amir kot. aku xbp igt sbb die nakal sgt2. die salu round2 kelas and bwk pembaris kayu yg pjg tuk denda klasmates die. termsuk lah aku. aku suker borak2 dlm kelas dlu. biaserla gossip budak2 kecik. so aku salu la kene pukul ngn die. jht kn die. last2 aku malas nk lyn die dah. salu gk la kami gaduh sbb die garang sgt.
aku ader baik ngn sorang cikgu ni. die baik sgt smpi time rehat die akan bwk aku kua g supermarket yg dkt skolah tu. die suker banjer aku coklat. die lyn aku lg baik dr anak die aku rase haha..salu ajak dtg umah dier..salu tny aku ok ke x..isk isk ade ke ek cikgu cmtu skg ni kt msia..aku rindu nyer cikgu tu..
darjah 2 gak aku ade sorang cikgu English ni. die non-malay. muke ala2 pelakon hindustan gitu. cantek! tp syg die amat garang. sumer dak2 klas aku gerun jer bile time english class. masuk je kelas mmg sumer org kene berdiri dlu pastu die akan kasi soalan. sape dpt jwp boleh duduk. mase tu terpakse la aku jadi pndai english. speaking pn kene la rajin haha..tp aku dpt nmpk die baik hati sebenarnye even die garang. saje je die xnk tunjuk.
ade sorang lg cikgu PJ. lelaki. die hensem la. haha..tu je.
Mase drjah 2 ni gk aku ade sorang best fren. die bes fren dan jiran sebelah umh aku.Ahmad Azwan Salim name die. yg bes psl die ni sbb die baik sgt. salu je teman aku main depan umh. tiap2 ari g skolah sape siap dlu akan tggu sorang lagi. salu nyer aku la yg siap dlu haha..so tggu die kt umh die. tapi family kami xberape ok rshp nyer..family die mcm ala2 garang gitu..Azwan ni ade 2 abang-Yazid and Rashid. 2-2 tuh nakal sgt..adik perempuan azwan-Wewe name die. cantik dan comel. so b4 g skolah (skolah ptg) kami akn g playground dan bwk adik masing2. haha...comel kan kami? aku ni jenis main sungguh2..playful. sampai pernah terlupe nk buat homework. mase tu homework kene buat tikar. anyaman. mesti korang pernah buat gk kn?bile dh nk g skolah br aku tingat psl h/work tuh. mmg panic dan cuak. mase mandi aku nangis sbb cuak haha...kakak aku yg beli rojak (fav) pn aku dh xnampak. so smpi jer skolah aku cpt2 anyam tikar tuh..lwk giler biler igt blk. moral: jgn over main smpi luper hwork. =p
aku trus kawan baik ngn azwan smpi abes drjah 2. tapi masuk je drjah 3 kami ade selisih phm sket. (cheewah kecik2 dah pndai). dh x igt naper..so kami diam je. tak berckp. mase tu aku pn ade kwn2 baru. biase la bile kelas dah lain kn. drjah 3 biaser2 jer..
Darjah 4. satu ari abah ckp kite akan pndah ke kedah. mase tu aku panic gk. Kedah?jauhnyer!aku akan tggl kn Melaka kesayangan aku ni. sedihnyer biler pk akan tggl sumer kwn2 yg bes kt melaka ni. living here mmg bes. rumah aku mase tu depan ade taman bunga dan pantai.
so weekend jer akan turun pantai (sambil menghitamkan muke). main pasir la. cari remis or kepah. mase tu gak la omma (mak) akan panggil rumah suruh balik cpt2. aku dan adik aku (kimi) yg salu ke pantai. abg aku salu gk tapi utk tidak dimarahi die yg salu blk cpt n ckp kt omma yg aku dan kimi still kt pantai. so korang tau la kan ape yg jd?omma akan mrh kami 2 beradik sbb blk lmbt and abg aku salu akan thumbs up (tande padan muke) kt aku n kimi. bengang gk mse tuh. dah la kene mrh pastu kene ejek . haha..abg2...
berbalik pade mase nk pndah. mse tuh aku masih xleh trime lg yg aku akan pindah. sygnyer nk tggl kwn2..hukhuk..
aku pk nnt kt kedah boleh ke aku main byk2 mcm kt cn?kwn2 bes ker?aku salu pk..
ade ke kwn2 yg akan lepak same2 kt taman bunga sambil borak?ckp psl tman bunger depan rumah tuh, aku dan kwn2 pernah kurung seekor kucing dlm meja kt taman tuh. kami susun batu bata sampai tutup bwh meja tuh. haha...jht nyer kami kan?bkn jht, nakal jer. aku tak igt same ade dh lepaskn ke blom kucing tuh..sorry kucing =p.
so mase utk pndah dh tiba..mase tuh aku still xbaik blk ngn azwan. so mase pndah tu mmg sedih. malas igt dah.
off to Kedah..

Darjah 4-6 (Sek Keb Kem Lapangan Terbang-SKKLT)
1st time smpai kedah aku culture shock ngn bahase die hehe...yerla from melake to kedah. lain kan. tapi lame2 dah leh get used to it. kwn2 pn ok..
kali ni aku g skolah naik basikal. dah berdikari sket..ade sorang cikgu yg garang-Pn Suria. die aja BM. aku agk gerun time BM. hehe...tapi segarang2 die garang lg Pn Rosmah. itu darjah 4.
aku start make new friends. bes gk la..sumer ckp kedah. hehe...
start drjah 5 aku dilantik jadi prefect. mase tu aku rs aku makin aktif. kuiz sumer aku masuk hhe..aku hampir dilantik jadi ketua pengawas tp since kt kedah rules die mase tuh perempuan tak leh jd ketua pengawas so aku akur, sorang kwn aku name Firdaus Radzi yg jadi. Firdaus ni mmg popular di skolah. my first crush kt skolah la hehe...so aku mmg happy jadi assistant dier. pernah gak kami 2 kene gossip-biaser la gossip kanak2 kan..
sorang lagi kwn aku name Siti Zurela Syafinaz. die cantik. die baik ngn aku. yg pliknyer ramai xsuker die mase tu. ntahla naper. sbb org jeles kt dier kot. cntik dan kayer. even kdg2 die agk manjer tp aku xkisah je. kwn ttp kwn. aku rapat ngn die smpai ade one day tuh die dan famly dtg rumah nk ajak aku ke langkwi tuk vacation same2..wahh..i missed tht day! sbb mase tu aku xde kt rumah..blk kg kot..
yg plg sedih itu kali terakhir aku dgr cter dier..die dh pndah ke N9 mse tuh..aku xdpt jumper die..
aku trus kn life ngn kwn2 lain. mase tu aku baik dgn nawal, najib, firdaus, izwardy, liza. haa..sorang lagi kwn aku name masrizal. die budak pandai kt klas. aku rapat ngn die. die sgt nakal. salu saje nk buli aku. pnjam buku maths aku. nk tiru lah tu. pndai je tp nakal hehe...tp xper, kwn nyer psl aku pnjamkn jer.
ade 1 bnde yg annoyed me. firdaus ni sgt nakal. mse drjah 6 aku dan sorang je lg kwn aku (azreen) yg free hair. haha...x insaf lagi mase tuh =p. so biler dh abes kelas firdaus ni akan annoy kami 2-tarik ponytail kitorang. waahh..mrhnyer kt firdaus tuh..last2 biler geram aku malas dh nk ikat rmbut.
mase drjah 6 aku ade baik dgn 2 org cikgu. Pn Natipah dan Pn Mashitah. sorang aja maths sorang lg BM.
Pn Natipah mmg strict. die salu buat klas congak. masuk2 kelas je, trus die ckp "no 1.."trus die kasi soklan....korang bygkn la kn otak mmg kene sentiasa jalan jer mse tuh hehe..
Die sgt trust aku. pernah skali die ade hal. so xdpt msuk kelas and aja. die kasi aku amanat utk aja kelas aku. aja as in show my classmates solutions for some questions. as far as i remember la..thanks cikgu sbb percaya saya. last time aku in touch ngn ckgu natipah was last year..planned nk jumpe tp xjd..
one thing about me mase drjah 6 was aku freak out giler when it comes to buat karangan. rase xde confidence pn ade. tapi end up ok jer..cikgu mashitah siap mintak nk bli sumer karangan2 aku buat. satu file sumer nyer. tah nape mase tu aku tak nak plak hehe...bkn ape sgt pn kan..kasi jer la..tapi xper dh lepas..
well tu sumer kenangan aku drjah 6. sekolah rendah yg bes. kwn2 sumer baik n cool. smpi skg aku ade gk in touch ngn some of the friends-nawal and eizlan. eizlan ni kwn adik aku kimi kt egypt. kire bgusla..if korang rs korang schoolmates aku siler2 la introd diri hehe...

Secondary School.
Alhamdulillah after UPSR, even ade sedikit complications due to Science paper (kalo korang dak2 tahun 85 igt la)..sbb tu results UPSR kite delayed kn. aku tggu gk offer yg bes2..smpi la dpt msuk mat jiwa. Sek Men Sains Sultan Mohd Jiwa(SESUMOJI).

kirenyer aku start stdy citu since form 1. sedeyhnyer kan kecik2 dah berjauhan dr family. so ape korang expect frm hostel life?macam2 kan...kt sesunoji la aku belajar jadi dewasa, independant, strong, improve PR, jadi manusia yg berguna la kirenyer hehe...

tapi bkn sng nk jd sumer tuh. mase form 1 aku homesick sgt..salu luah perasaan kt sorang bedmate aku-Kak Zhali. die deskmate aku kt klas gk..kami rapat giler. pernah jer list out reasons tuk kuar skolah..isk..isk childish sungguh time tuh ..xtahu yg parents kt rumah penuh berharap aku study situ..sorry omma abah=p...
so mase form 1 aku ade gang yg aku rase bes sgt time tuh. Nad, K zhali, Sour, Puteri Sarah. sorry la if ade name yg missed out tp tu la yg aku igt salu lepak2 and mmg jadi crime partners hehe..
kami la gk yg salu buat bende2 yg prefects (seniors) tak suker. coincidently dorm kami mmg right above prefects' dorm. naik tangge x pernah nyer graceful..salu bising..lepas tuh mmg salu kene mrh ngn kakak2..tapi kami tak pernah nyer insaf..malah trus je ngn cara kami hehe..
orang ckp Honeymoon year time form 4 kan? i dont think so sbb aku nyer honeymoon yr time form 2. mase tu main jer tahu. waktu prep jer bkn stdy unless nk exm. haha...
tp since form 1 aku dh mule berjinak2 dlm sports. i like sports very much. i started to play netball mase form 1 and get selected to represent the school. mase tu aku dan Aman (azwa) yg selected utk join team senior. cmne aku selected aku pn tak tau..sbb aku rs aku main pn biase2 je..tp aku xlame dlm team netball sbb aku rs aku tak berape into it.
so masuk je form 2 aku mule berjinak2 ngn hockey and olahraga. aku still igt aku, isma, aliyah, che ah lari 400x4m. menang! bes jer rs mse tu. semangat kesukanan mmg kuat. mase tu aku tak kisah je nk sunburn pn sunburn la hehe...
masuk je form 3 aku dah mule insaf and serious towards my studies. dah nk PMR maa..mase tu juga aku berjinak2 main voleyball..bes giler! first time aku trun court tuk selection aku terpilih tuk masuk team skolah sdgkn b4 that xpernah sntuh pn volleyball. rezki tuh..n aku sedar mase tu voleyball la sports yg aku sgt suker sbb ...sbb ape ek..ntah la..aku jer yg tau naper bes..
so aku played volley for about a year..n mase form 4 biler dak2 hockey nk additional players aku pn join je derang..igt lagi weekend jer kami akn practice kt sports centre ni..naik bus APEK GONCANG. kami pggil mcm tuh sbb bus tu mmg bergoncang2 haha...even bus buruk je tp kami njoy..even kene mrh truk ngn coach kami-cikgu aper yer name die..garang giler gk cikgu tuh..huhu..
mase form 4 gak aku join choir team skolah..bes per nyanyi..hehe aktif gak la..
mase d tgh sem form 4 aku telah d offer utk jadi prefect. mase tuh aku sgt hesitate sbb aku tau kt skolah aku prefects (bawai) mmg di anti oleh students lain. aku took time gk la nk accept ke x..last2 aku accept after fikir dari pelbagai sudut. mase tu aku sedar aku dah take serious abt my future..hikhik..
tapi bes ape..form 4=senior. haha..mmg trend kt SBP ade je title senior tuh..mase tu la kite akan rs ade power...=p
selain prefect aku juge menjadi President tuk Kelab Bahasa Asing..ssh rupenyer jadi president ni..
aku juge jadi Vice president tuk Kelab Alam Sekitar..boring lak club ni haha...tp ok jer..
tuk uniform lak aku join Puteri Islam..hehe dont mess ok..skolah aku nyer puteri islam terer berkawad..previously aku join Kadet Remaja Skolah (KRS) tp sbb aku rs xbes (pnt, terlalu byk practise, stress) aku quit. i contribute my ability of marching by being the ketua kawad utk Puteri Islam. puteri islam yg dikenali sbg uniform yg xreti kawad dan sgt girlish telah mmbuka mata ramai org semasa hari ko-kurikulum dgn mendapat tmpt ke2 mengalahkan pengakap puteri and traffic. one of the sweetest moment ever!! aku puas ngn hasil kerja aku dan anak2 buah..syg korang hehe..
since aku ade minat gak dlm publishing and writing, aku join gak team Sidang Redaksi (school Magazine). mmg cool sbb kite get involved dlm bidang penerbitan. mase tu aku jawat jawatan 2nd Editor. i enjoyed my tasks. great..great..
sigh...byk nye bnde aku kene buat kan..pnt mmg pnt tp aku suker diri aku mase tu..bz jer memanjang..tak fikir aper dah..bf ke ape ke..mmg aku xlayan haha..aku suker kerja aku jer.
SPM dah nk dkt..stdy kene diteruskan..
psl SPM ni aku rase tak perlu citer pjg2 sbb biase2 jer..yg penting SPM batch aku mase bulan puase..sgt la berkat dan berhikmah aku rase..alhamdulillah..=)

fuuhhh...~~ pjg nyer citer aku kali ni..the point here is aku bersyukur dgn ape yg aku ader..
aku rindu zmn childhood aku..even biaser2 jer tp aku ttp enjoy with my life..full of moments...priceless!!

High Heels ...

hari ni hari jumaat. kelas pukul 210pm.
tapi before that ade study group kt rumah aku. recall psl convolution.
pukul 1 pegi department. ade 4th year modules registration.
so now next year i am going to take:

• electromagnetic compatibility
• antennas and propagation
• optical communication devices & systems
• marketing management
• high speed circuit design
• energy utilisation
• high speed electronic devices
• mobile networks & low-level protocols
• renewable energy
• group project

fuh..so it means that i have to take 9 modules for a year..5 modules for autumn semester + group project and 4 modules for spring semester + group project. total=120 credits

during the registration time, i bumped into Evan (my ex-lab partner). he was telling me about his flapjack. said he brought one for me but nothing was left since he was very hungry. (isk..isk.)

after class , supposedly i am going to Bradford but due to some technical problems (heels kasut tercabut+kaki in pain sbb tahan berjalan)...hence the trip was cancelled..sorry jihan..sorry nurul i couldnt make it..sorry too to hazwan.

arrived home safely with kaki sakit, tapi perut lapar then terpaksa masak..ayam black paper..
then i reached this one friend. lepas main futsal katenyer..chat-chat with him until die kene tdo awal..esok (sabtu) keje katenyer..(boring+tired)..

at night, perut mmg lapa gilers..nak turun dapo in the middle of the night mmg malas da..so tgk2 ade prunes..mkn jer la..
im thirsty..

nak orange juice..

btw the main purpose of posting this is to tell u abt my shoes..=(..tgh fikir camner nk fix kasut tuh..
it's lovely..so takkan buang kasut tu cmtu jer..
it's hard for me to buy new shoes..sbb im kinda choosy person..esp in choosing shoes..hehe plus, i prefer msia shoes..they're much more lovely than UKs!
help.help. ;)

Manusia lupa...

aku manusia..
selalu lupa..
ditimpa ujian..di sakiti manusia lain..
terasa hati luluh..
terasa sakit amat..
aku lupa..
aku ada Dia...
aku lupa Allah yg kuasai semuanya..
hati aku..
perasaan aku...
takdir aku..
semuanya Dia yg lebih tahu..Maha Mengetahui..

Ya Allah..aku mohon dari Mu..
kuatkan lah aku..
aku tahu ini ujian kecil buat ku.
sudah terang lagi bersuluh dia bagaimana orgnya..
Allah nk tnjukkan padaku mungkin dia bukan utk aku
Engkau sahaja tahu apa yang terbaik utk aku
Engkau tahu cerita sebenar..apa di sebaliknya..

jika dia bukan utkku..jauhilah hatiku dari hatinya dgn baik..
elakkan lah kekecewaan antara kami..

dan aku mohon seseorang yang lebih baik utkku..
aminn..
ibuku selalu berpesan..jika dlm kesedihan byk2 kn doa..lebih dkt padaNya..
iya ibu..aku igt pesanmu..
maafkn sy ibu..
maafkn ku kakak..
kalian mgkn telah dpt lihat dari awal..

"if someone hurts u, betrays u or breaks ur heart, 4give them and thank them for helping u to learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom u open ur heart to"

"If the world pushed u down on your knees, u are in the perfect position to pray"

"the only man who worth your tears won't make you cry"
you don't deserve my tears,never.
thanks for coming back and hurt me again. again and all over again.
thanks for acting so cruel...for just whistling while im crying.
thanks for all those killing words..
thanks for choosing her (again) right after we finished.
i just realised she's never gone..
i bet she could love u more than i do

thanks for taking me for granted...
thanks for all those hopes and dreams

My little cuddly..hunny bunch cuppycake;)

hehe..i just had fun with friends. great laughs..at least i can heal..for a while.
tapi plg penting skg aku sgt rindu my little cuddly-nur amirah alisya


she's my niece. baru 3 months.
tak pernah jumpe dier..
sgt rindu dier..dah dgr citer about her mcm2..

die suker nangis and and akan trus stop bile ade org dukung..(ngengader ;p)
latest update(almost everyday i call her momma-my big sis)..
i'd love to hear her voice..(^-^)
die suker buat one thing-genggam 2-2 tgn dier n ltk kt dada..dunno la ape purpose die hehe..tp mmg cute and adorable.
summer...oh summer cant wait!

A friend..

post ini utk rakan-rakan yg setia ada dgn ku

dia rakan. dia taulan. dia kawan.
selalu ada bila aku mahu.
selalu dengar apa saja yg terpacul dari bibir.

dia tahu banyak apa yang aku alami.
bila aku mahu menangis semahuku aku tahu dia pasti akan pinjamkn bahu utk aku.
:)

dia tahu redakan gundah.
dia yg luruskanku bila aku sesat di selekoh dan tak jumpa jalan pulang.
dia yang pimpinku bila tongkat buta ku hilang.
dia cahaya bila aku dalam kegelapan.

terima kasih

kawan tetap kawan.
sampai bila-bila.

aku amat hargai.

Berlari lebih jauh..

dulu aku di situ...
terasa suka di situ...
aku selesa di sana...
tak pernah terfikir untuk berganjak mahupun pergi...

angin datang..ribut melanda...hujan juga turun..lebat...
namun aku masih jua di situ bertahan ..walau hampir juga terbang..melayang..
walau pernah juga basah beku aku di situ..

aku masih bertahan...kuatkah aku?
aku bertahan kerna aku percaya tempatku di situ..

sampai satu saat..
hujan pun berhenti..
ribut pergi...

aku disuruh pulang..
pulang menjadi siapa aku yg dahulu..
aku kaget..mahu ke mana?
bukankah tmpat aku di sini?
bukankah aku selesa begini?
mengerti kah aku mahu di sini?sampai bila pun tetap mahu...

tapi aku tetap harus pulang..
harus pergi jauh..

aku akur akhirnya..
aku atur langkah..
pergi dan berlari..
jauh-jauh ..
walau aku terjatuh
namun aku tetap perlu berlari..

eh..itu kan tempatku?mahu ke mana kaki?

naah..tempat itu bukan lagi bahagia utk kamu..
ada taman lain menanti mungkin

kini aku berlari lebih jauh..

tidak menoleh lagi

Secretive me

hari ni biaser2 sajer. tgk luar tingkap mcm dh nk mghrb..tapi dh pukul 9 mlm.
hari ni rumah aku rase sayu..aku g dapur ade jihan dan sarah. bile sarah naik bilik tggal aku dan jihan. kami borak2 pasal masalah negara. hurm..rumah besar2 tula..sng rase sayu kalo xde org sgt..
hari ni aku rase sayu jer..tah naper..
hari ni aku call omma..xde..nk ckp ngn kakak die x available. last2 ckp ngn aman. busuk la aman. die suker menyamar jadi omma. (die mmg suker menyamar)
hari ni gak aku dpt tau 1 of my housemates nk move out atas hal2 tertentu..mungkin itu antra penyebab aku rase cmnih...
hari ni gk ade seorang kwn criter problem dier..aku terpikir smpi sekarang mlsh die tuh sbb pelik dan sebenarnyer merisaukn..
hari ni rase nk borak ngn sorang kawan aku ni tapi tgk YM die mcm tak available.
hari ni aku borak ngn big boss n buk kt MGFM. live on air bebeh..tapi rs kekoks sbb ckp ngn 2 org..
hari ni teringat someone gak..1 of my family members...hurmm...=(

sometimes im the one who like to be secretive..~

*a big sigh...=( *

SMS dari Omma...

haha..seronok puler aku blogging di kala down2 begini..
now tgh gap sejam b4 the next class.
aku managed to go to class even keadaan quite kelam kabut dan serabut.
g klas ngn elly. kami smpi lmbt (sbb pegi pn lmbt haha..)

tup tup dlm klas ade hp ku bunyik tp slow2 la..yey..! omma text..tny kaba..omma..mcm phm2 jer org tgh down..br td b4 g klas nk text omma tp xjd sbb xnk let her know yg aku tgh stress hehe..tp alang2 omma dh text..ckp jer la kn..
dun worry mom..i'll be ok..like always :)

tiber2..perut rase pedih . lapar super!

ops ..rupenyer aku x mkn sejak semalam..dinner and bfst skipped..
sigh. siyes tak perasan..bkn sbb terlalu asyik buat keje ke ape..sbb mmg rase tak nak makan pn..nk msk ape pn no idea.
hurmm aku rs mybe kene hire sorang bibik..if xjmp bibik..hire je sape2 yg jual big issue tuh


hurmm..truskn ngn keje la..lalalala..kerja lalala..