To Grieve Over The Past..

Why grieving over the past?
There are reasons why people in the past are not meant to be with you now..

I Terribly Hate This Feeling, Ok?

Im mad, obviously.
Feel like rubbish.
No words are worth saying when Im mad, they end up to be rubbish, useless, pointless, heart-aching and regretful.
But I cant help to express my anger here.

Please, what else should I say to express my feeling?

Syyesssshhhhh bengannnggg...
:(

Bye!

A Bad Tudung Day, It Was

GGrrrr...What a day eyh?
Since last night or since the last two days I cannot talk to him.
Masing-masing busy, time difference lagi, commitment lagi. Distance + time difference + commitment gave us a hard time though. Sigh. Whatever.
So last night I went to bed early since I wasn't that well. Sore throat+dizzy head+cough. At about 10pm I already went ZZzzz...
Then at about 1am suddenly terjaga. Tengok YM, he buzzed me at 1030pm. Ha, stress di situ sebab aku baru jek tidur kan..Tapi memang tak sedar ape dah la bila tak sihat sangat ni.
Then I woke up early, at 5am. I know that would be the best time for us to talk.
Then Encik Sayang pergi makan pula, yang aku ni tak de kredit plak nak bgtau yang aku dah bangun.
So tersengguk2 juga la tunggu Encik Sayang pulang. Rasa sungguh stress lagi. Sigh..
Then setelah 25 minit tunggu, he's back. Then chat sebentar, aku perlu bersiap2 untuk mandi pula. Nak kerja katakan.
After mandi and all, sempat call skype kejap. He saw my unwell face. Aku sengaja conceal my pale face dengan lipstick and eye shadow. Hehe tapi masih dapat dilihat wajah pucatku. :P. He started to worry. Nothing much la dear.
Then off to work. Dalam bus otw ke office, Encik Sayang called but tak dengar suaranya. Ada la 5 kali he called. Dahla boss aku naik the same bus, dok dekat la kan dengan aku. Ha, amek. Segan sikit di situ. So aku tak boleh la kan nak repeat banyak kali "Helo..helo..abang..tak dengar la.."..Nak cakap abang pun aku segan bila tahu boss di situ. Haha. So cover2 la, cakap aby..:P

Then sampai office I told Encik Sayang, jom kita chat kejap di facebook, tapi dengan volume yang paling slow, kang boss dengaq plak. Haha :P

So chat chat chat..then off.
Sungguh banyak keje nak settle arini.
I was unwell, macam nak baringgg je kat workstation tuh.
Tudung yg aku pakai arini plak macam buruk jek, bueks!.
Senget sane sini, serious macam perempuan tak reti pakai tudung.
Then nak dijadikan citer, contact lense aku pula terkoyak di sebelah kiri.
My left eye got irritated lah, tak tahan ma..So cabut terus lense tu.
Tinggal lah lense kanan jek.
Ha, kan dah weng2..Aku memang macam orang buta tadi.
Last-last waktu lunch terpaksa keluar beli lense baru.
Nasib baik la 1 pair is just RM18.

Ok, lunch time.
I ordered bihun sup tulang.
Masin you, masam terlebih pula tu.
Aish..what a day kan? Ade jek tak kene.

Then after lunch keje balik cam biaser, kene g jumpa boss aku yg lady ni.
She asked me, how everything's going apart from work.
She meant-personal life la. Hows Bintulu and all.
Honestly I replied: TAK OK. Haha
She said its ok, I'll get use to it. Apart from that, die bilang if ada problem just talk talk dengan dia. Haha sweet kan? To be honest, aku macam agak cuak dengan boss yg lady ni sebab sebenarnya aku kagum, dia nampak strict, dedicated to her job but deep inside she cares:)

Oklah, tadi dah skype lama jua dengan Encik Sayangku. Hehe.
Ok, now I realised entry ni macam kosong, pointless other than telling you all my BAD TUDUNG DAY :P

Tu apehal la kan nak hi-light sumer bende ngn kaler merah:P

Bye! nak mandi :P

Ini lah hasil menunggu malam semalam. Korek gambar lama :P

When Boredom Strikes, This Is Where It Brings Me

Good evening girls.
Ehehe Im sooo the very sure all of you who are reading this are girls. Kan? Except for him la. Or maybe my little brother.
Anyways, I have nothing much to say today as Im really really tired.
Tonnes of works are mounting kat office. Pening kepala nak buat yg mana.
Biarlah, lets not talk about office matters kat rumah kan? :)

Since I have nothing much to say, this is what I found bila korek2 entry yang hanya jadi draft suatu ketika dulu..

1. This is what I wrote when I first fall for him. Hehe. But he never knew about this entry :P

"One day I came to this one place. It's far, no one can hardly see it. It's gonna cost a lot to get there. I was mesmerized and captivated when I first arrived there. I walked..I walked..I saw a lot of people..They were strangers.. Suddenly..There's one thing caught my eyes. I found this one cute creature. I picked it up. Oh, it's a Monster. Little monster who lovesssss to eat. My life was enlightened and happier eversince I had the monster with me. With the monster, I laughed more often, I feel alive, I feel safe.. The monster may look naughty and loves to bully other people..but deep down I know the monster is a well-behaved creature. A good one..."

2. Entry ni pulak, aku dah tak hingat apa punya kes la :P
"When I can sink no lower,
When Im at my lowest state,
When Im too fragile to withstand the heat,
When Im too weak to get up and stand up for myself,
When I really need the strength..
I wish it didnt happen,
I wish I wasnt there to see, hear and feel it.
I wish I was given a chance to at least say something and talk.
I wish I was strong enough to handle this alone.
I wish I wasnt this surprised for what had happened.
I wish I wasnt her, the spoiler :( "


Well, there are some entries yang I could never post them here. I might be deleting them soon. Why? Because they are too bitter, lets forgive and forget, shall we?
Oklah, having a bad sore throat. :( Headache too. Tak suke.
I better haf enuf sleep. good nyte people!

Jiwa Kacau yg Sengaja Dikacau

1. Boring, petang Ahad di Bintulu when nothing you can do. I fell asleep while waiting for sayang's reply. He was busy repairing his computer, kesian sebab his computer kena virus. Hence the whole day we didn't Skype or go online. Sobsob..
2. Recently I kept thinking about this: "What if I change my career path, to be a lecturer?" Sobsob again..
3. Esok Isnin=Kerja. Aih, boring!
   
4. I washed my fleece blanket but belum dijemur. So now I have no blanket, air-cond bilik sgt weng sometimes it went too cold, sometimes it can be hot. er..warm.
5. Perut sakit, bestfriend belum pulang..
6. I ade sebaldi baju yg belum dijemur, I malasssss sangat nak sidai. I pemalassss sangat bab2 handling my own clothes. Beli je pandai. Hehe. Kindly appreciated if you could sidaikan for me. thanks! ^_^
   
7. Asyik dengar lagu "Move Along" by All American Rejects. Pagi tadi pula dgr lagu2 boyband: N'sync, BSB. Ish ish..sah takda kerja ni. Hihi
   
8. Tadi tengok status YM this one friend: "musim orang kawen yg mencabar kesabaran". I dont know la what she meant by that. Tapi I wonder, why people berlumba-lumba nak kwen time bulan Doblas yg sungguh packed dengan weddings ni? hello, kawen la bulan lapan ke, sembilan ke, mac ke..pilih jek bulan2 lain, can ar? Kan dah clashed, tatau wedding mana nak pegi. Eleh, padahal I tak dapat pergi any weddings pun sebab stranded kat Bintulu ni. Tiket nak balik mahal ah, sorry weh! Hopefully korang tak merajuk, wedding aku nanti datang la yeaks..Hehe

Ok, nak pergi dapur and buat kerja, handle my clothes..Pergi suap mulut dengan makanan.

I miss the snowflakes, but not the winter! (^_^)"I dropped a tear into the ocean. The day I found it is the day when I will stop missing you.."

Perempuan Kedua

When you read the title, what's popped into your mind?
Hehe.
Yes, it's the second woman. Also termed as "Kekasih Gelap". Sort of la.
Recently I talked to this one friend di Bintulu ni. (sebab tu saya tak mahu anyone from Bintulu to read this).
Was shocked to hear her story. Patut lah dia sungguh berahsia dengan love story nya..
Rupanya..boyfriend nya ialah seorang suami orang..
Sebetulnya, saya kasihan mendengar kisah dia. Nak blame dia, I dont think it was totally her mistake. Most probably salah lelaki tu.
How did they know each other?
They met in a plane on the way ke Bintulu. Masa tu lelaki tu ialah tunangan orang, tapi still ada hati nak tackle my friend tuh. Bad ass, isnt he? Mind my language.

The worse thing is, lelaki tu kept his status as a secret.
My friend ni pun akhirnya tersangkut jua dengan lelaki tu.
Until one day:

"Im getting married next month"

My friend ni terkejut, sedih usah dikata lah.
Menangis meraung berhari-hari mengenangkan kekasih hati itu akan jadi milik orang lain, terasa bodoh juga kerana ditipu.

Yang peliknya, lelaki tu tetap mahu my friend ni.
The night before his akad nikah, he texted my friend saying :
"Im going to be a someone's husband but I still want you".

Sigh, what to do if you're in my friend's shoes?
Normally, perempuan memang mudah cair dengan ayat-ayat begitu.

But my friend was good enough, she avoided him for days, months. That's what she was supposed to do pun kan?
She thought it'd work, tapi tetap hampeh usahanya.

The guy still merayu mahu kan my friend.
Katanya, the moment dia bertunang dengan wife nya dulu was a mistake.
Konon2 his heart tak sepenuhnya sayang kepada si isteri.
Dia pernah confess pada isterinya, mahu bercerai. Katanya lagi, dia hanya sayang kepada isteri, tapi tak cinta.
What the fish kan?

And the story goes on..Until today
My friend still sticks with the guy.
Saya tak tahu apa ending mereka.
The guy dalam process nak ceraikan isterinya dan nak berkahwin dengan my friend ni.

What say you?

Moga jadi pengajaran. Sekian

Peng-Umuman

Semekom..(ish ish apa bagi salam lagu ni)
Assalamualaikum..
I feel better now.
Tadi lepas sedih sedih, terus g toilet. Gosok gigi, cuci muka.
Masuk bilik, sapu toner and cream di muka.
Makan buah pear wangi before tidur (kunun-kunun petua nak sihat)
Hehe..
Sorry la too many times changing the URL.
So this URL hopefully will be the final URL for me. :)

Ok, mari buat review :

New URL : http://watashinobloggudesu.blogspot.com/
-Apekah nama macam Jepung? Hehe. Saje je nak kasi susah orang nak type or search =p.

Blog's name: The White Gold Ring
-Uish, sounds like a materialistic. Hikhik..Tak lah, saja suka suka. Tu saje idea yg ade:)

Hopefully after creating the new URL, hidup saya lebih privasi.
Syarat-syarat untuk baca blog ini ialah:

1. Anda bukan student Sheffield/alumni Sheffield.
2. Anda bukan pekerja Petronas MLNG.
3. Anda bukan kenalan/rakan Encik Sayang.

Senang je kan syarat nye? Hehe


Bersabar lah dgn saya untuk beberapa hari ini, terima kasih. Sayang kamu kamu :)

Nak tidur lah, harap-harap esok boleh jumpa kamu di awal pagi..

Ok now, dah boleh letak gambar Encik Sayang dengan senang hati~~~.. hehe..

Masa ini, masih belum kenal Encik Sayang pun. lalala..~

When the world pushes you down on your knees, you are in the perfect position to pray..:)

Saya Nak Pemadam Magic, Mahu Penyembuh Luka.

Nak cerita direct jek la, xnk buat ayat bunga2.
While writing this, I just had my tears rolling down onto my cheek.
Yes, aku nangis ok tadi. Kalau lah tears itu macam hujan, kiranya tadi hujan lebat.
Kenapalah banyak benda yg membengangkan/memarahkan/menyedihkan jadi pada aku hari ni ek?
Mari huraikan satu-satu.:

1. Adik aku terasa dengan aku. Tapi dah settle.
2. Aku emo lagi, Encik Sayang tersilap sikit, aku dah emo. Ya lah, aku risau la. Bila Encik Sayang kata control emosi, aku risau nanti if aku pregnant, lagi emo tau. Aku risau, Encik Sayang boleh ke terima lagi keadaan aku time pregnant? Masa tu, aku mungkin akan bertukar watak secara mendadak..Ya Allah, mudahkanlah urusan kami..Aku sayang sangat-sangat pada Encik Sayang tu, maafkan Za...Hari ni banyak benda mahu digest.
3. Sedang seronok berbual dengan Encik Sayang setelah emo-emo, ada rakan buzz di YM. Tahu apa katanya? "Aku nak mintak maaf". Aku tanya: "Kenapa nak mintak maaf?" Dia jawap: "Sebab dulu macam banyak mengata ko.". Damn, what do you expect me to feel? She reminds me of those hari-hari yg aching masa di UK dulu. Dia pernah buat aku rasa, I Wish I Didnt Have a Friend Like You. Teruk kan? But that's how she made me feel. Hurm, biar ah, cerita lama. Sakit memang sakit weh, itu yg buat aku nangis masa sedang borak-borak dengan Encik Sayang. Aku bilang pada Sayang, aku berat hati nak maafkan rakan tu. Encik Sayang kata jangan begitu. Aku sedih weh, sedih gila gila bila ingat balik apa rakan tu dah buat. Dia buat aku rasa hidup di Sheffield itu horror. Maybe kau orang tak faham hidup di overseas yg family takde, kawan pulak perangai macammm....hurm dot dot dot di situ malas nak sambung. Ah, get over it! Aku tak mampu nak reply YM rakan tadi tu. Entah lah, fikiran aku serabai lagi. Nanti lah ok, jangan risau lah. Hati aku baik, nanti dah sejuk dan berlembut, I'll get back to you.

Item ke-3 itu paling significant untuk kesedihan aku. Bukan aku sedih dia minta maaf, tapi her existence buat aku ingat zaman-zaman sedih aku di Sheffield dulu. Sikit pun aku dah taknak ingat, tapi malam ni kan dah muncul balik kenangan pahit tuh. Aih..
Tak perlu lah aku hurai di sini apa kenangan2 tuh, nanti ternangis lagi pula.

Untuk Sayang saya, saya minta maaf. You're the best for me, you're my treasure. I dont want any other men. Sayang sudah cukup untuk saya..:)

Saya Dibuli, Blueks.

Dulu masa trip saya ke Mesir, saya pernah berniat untuk membeli niqab. Kiranya macam purdah la..
Tapi hajat tak kesampaian..:)
Tetapi malam semalam saya ada attempt untuk pakai purdah.

Let pictures do the talking ok? :)

Ha..Ini masa mula-mula nak cuba..belum kena kan jarum lagi..Selepas kena kan jarum..Ada orang tu sungguh beriya-iya nak lihat =p.

Amacam, ok tak? Hehe

Kenapa ya?

1. Kenapa, bila kamu minta dari saya, saya bagi? Bila saya minta dari kamu pula, kamu tipu saya? Kamu kata itu bukan blog kamu? Saya tak faham.
2. Ada rakan cakap, kenapa kita susah nak dapat apa yg kita ingin sangat2? -->To my friend N, it's because Allah knows we are patient enough to wait:)
3. Kenapa ya, hari ni cucur udang saya masin? Sebab saya tak reti masak cucur udang gamaknya =p.
   
4. Kenapa ya, orang terlalu risau pasal final year project mereka? Tak perlu sangat, bukan nak demotivate kamu semua ya adik2..It's not all about the final year project pun later on when you work. Macam saya, my employer langsung tak tengok atau tanya pun apa tajuk final year project saya. so dont get yourself too wired up with it.
   
5. Kenapa ya, bila saya telefon rumah saja, terus rasa homesick, tergedik-gedik nak pulang ke rumah? Lantas Ibu saya cakap, usah bazir wang. Ibu bilang, kalau tiket RM400-Rm500 pergi balik pun dikira banyak. Ibu ujar lagi, gaji pekerja kilang sebulan pun dalam RM400-RM500 sebulan. Saya diam sejenak, terfikir untuk tak membazir.
6. Kenapa ya, bila sejuk saja saya rasa malas, mengantuk dan mahu tidur? hehe. Encik Sayang, tahulah sekarang winter..Mamau malas-malas ok..Study rajin-rajin ya Aby..:)

Tahun Baru, Cinta Baru.

Saya bangun awal, saya tak bisa solat :P. Makanya, mampu bangun, tengok laptop dan Sayang tak online pun.
Maka tidur lah balik :P.
Baik, di pagi Jumaat yg mulia ini..Hati rasa sungguh lembut. Hehe so selama ni tak lembut ka? =p
Saya sebetulnya sungguh 'teringat' pada Encik Sayang yg jauh itu. :)

Tahun baru, saya harap akan ada sesuatu yg baru untuk saya.
Yang pasti nya, sejak April 2009 lalu saya telah menemui cinta baru saya.
April itu lah saya mula bertemu Encik Sayang saya. Up to now, it has been approximately 6 months since our hearts have 'something' for each other. Hehe.
Seeing him, I found new things in life. I learnt a lot too.
In my previous years, I was a different person. Although not a totally different person now, but I slowly changed.
Being with him, I learnt how to respect my partner. Dulu saya tahu kita perlu respect pasangan, but the real means to respect. How?
Bila dengan Encik Sayang, saya banyak belajar memahami, banyak belajar tidak marah-marah, banyak belajar bersabar, banyak belajar untuk berlembut, banyak belajar untuk berhikmah.
Kadang-kadang bukan lah Encik Sayang ajar saya secara direct pun. It's just the way he treats me most of the time, itu lah cara kita belajar.
Contohnya, Encik Sayang memang bukan yg suka marah-marah, bukan jenis yg suka raise his voice, jenis yg respect saya, jenis yg memahami saya, yg tahu buat saya rasa sungguh istimewa walaupun ketika hari2 sibuk. Dia juga seorang yg menghargai apa-apa jua pencapaian saya, walaupun saya tak sedar pun tentang itu:).
Dia juga tahu bila saya rasa tak puas hati bila kami berdiscuss. (haha) :p. Dia tahu lah, dari muka saya ni.
Dia juga tahu bila saya nampak begitu comel. Sayang yg kata ok, bukan saya. Haha. Kadang-kadang dia notice saya sudah buat muka comel. Ehe ehe ehe mana ada la=p.

Saya pun tak tahu lah, kadang-kadang rasa sungguh 'magic' akhirnya begini dengan Encik Sayang.
Perkenalan yg sungguh singkat, tapi things we went through..they were a lot :).
Saya igt lagi, pertama kali kita jumpa. Sayang greeted me with "Assalamualaikum.." He smiled sweetly to me.
Masa tu saya sungguh malu malu. Hanya mampu balas salam dia saja. Hikhik. Nak pandang dia pun segan tau tau..
Then, masa tu juga terus jumpa all the families, termasuklah anak saudara nya yg comel tu.
Alhamdulillah, everything went well when we first met each other.
Saya ingat lagi, masa Encik Sayang dan mama nya nak hantar saya pulang ke parents saya. He drove a car, saya duduk di belakang Encik Sayang.
Then suddenly someone texted me.
"Sayanggg...rindu la.."
Eh, Encik Sayang text me? Mungkin message yg lama baru sampai kot..Sebab dia sedang drive, takkan la nak text saya kan?
So saya pun buat dunno je la kan..Tak reply pun=p.

Then ada lagi text: "Sayang sombong la..hehe"

Laaa..rupanya memang Encik Sayang text saya, padahal dia sedang drive and his mama ada kat sebelah. Hahaha. The moment was sweet, cute and funny.
Saya pun reply, nanti dicop 'sombong' pulak kan:P.

Dan, pertama kali parents saya ambil saya dari rumah Encik Sayang, we were apart. We both rasa berat sangat nak tinggal each other kan? Hehe. Terus Encik Sayang text me saying he misses me, berat nak lepas saya pergi.

Ok, itu bulan Ogos yg lepas.

Sekarang dah masuk Disember, Januari 2009 pula menanti kurang 2 minggu saja dari sekarang.

Saya bahagia dengan cinta baru saya, alhamdulillah kerana saya berjumpa dia April lalu.
Ironi nya, Encik Sayang nampaknya berjaya mendidik saya untuk jadi yang lebih bagus walaupun usianya 2 tahun lebih muda.
He managed to handle me well. Ya la, kadang-kadang kita perempuan kan nak emo-emo juga at times =P.

Kesimpulannya, Im grateful for having someone like him.
We are counting the days before we are officially Mr and Mrs..R...dot dot dot..* Eh sayang, apehal la kan nak dot dot dot panjangggg sangat tu?* hahaha.

Selepas 2010, tinggal lagi setahun saja lagi, doakan kami.

Untuk Sayang saya, perihal semalam itu adalah pengorbanan kita tau. Bukan keputusan kosong atau tak bijak.

Oklah, seronok pula tulis panjang2. Hihi.
Eh, havent you heard, Encik Sayang itu adalah kenalan adik saya? =p. *malu malu kuching*.

Bye! Hik.

Salji, Tahun Baru 1431

Snowy Sheffield:
Masya-Allah..It's snowing there..in Sheffield..the place I used to be..The place I learnt to be a real human, to survive without family by my side, to endure all the pains by myself..
Snowflakes always bring me this weird feeling everytime. Like what? For the first time I had the chance to see the snow flakes, I was breathtakingly happy. Ya la, macam tak percaya kan, snow turun depan mata.
When it is snowing, there's this mixed feelings. 20%-Amaze, 30%-Sadness, and 50%-Happyness. It was saddening because I experienced it alone, no family with me. Happyness because that was the first time I feel the snowflakes:).

Tahun baru 1431:
To all Muslims out there, selamat tahun baru 1431. Saya ialah seorang yg susah nak ada new resolutions. Tapi bila dewasa ni, bila kita dah boleh urus diri sendiri, masalah sendiri, kadang-kadang kita tak sedar yg azam baru itu muncul tanpa sengaja. Bila dah dewasa, saya percaya kita sentiasa mahu yg terbaik untuk diri. Maka dari situ lah kita cuba untuk berubah dan mula merencana azam baru. Alhamdulillah, untuk tahun baru ni, saya telah tidak sengaja merencana azam baru saya..Ada juga azam baru dengan Encik Sayang..:)..Thanks much my dear..I love u very much..:)))..Moga moga urusan kita dimudahkan..amiin..:)

Oklah, Sayang dah keluar. Saya pula dah mengantuk. Esok Awal Muharam. Cuti. Yey! Hehe.
Saya sungguh tak larat hari ini. Period pain yg sungguh unbearable, ternangis di office semasa lunch hour. Sedih, office mates yg para lelaki itu tak mungkin faham derita siang tadi.
Ok lah, jom tidur. Salam..

Blame the Hormone

Helo world! A lot of things stuck in mind, waiting to be spilled out here. It's no longer a punching bag, I suppose. Haha.
Maybe I can call this my..my..my er..e-diary? =p
Well today things went pretty smoothly.
Apart from..I was mad just now with..with..him.
Huhu, the timing was just 'right'. Today is the first day my 'best friend' datang. If you know what I mean.
And tadi ada a little bit salah faham dengan Encik Sayang. Kesian dia, aku terus emo. Dah lamaaaaa tak emo macam tadi. Sorry baby..sorry..I wont marah marah macam tadi dah..Sigh, period period. Blame the hormone. Entah kenapa aku memang tak boleh sabar tadi, we used to discuss elok elok if anything happen. But tadi I lost control. Ergh..
Alhamdulillah everything dah ok..:)

Nways, now Encik Sayang is in class. Sempat lagi tgk dia di webcam tadi-After the 'drama'. =p
walaupun aku marah tadi, tapi bila tengok muka dia yg comel itu tersenyum dan bila dia buat muka comel, terus tak jadi marah. hehe.

Ok, talking about webcam.
Remember, I think I told you that Encik Sayang sebelum ni belum ada internet di rumah barunya.
Makanya, susah juga nak contact each other. Nak text him mahal. 50sen per sms. Sedih sangat2 especially bila aku kehabisan kredit secara tiba-tiba di kala sedang ber-sms perkara yg crucial. Like last night, ada discuss this one matter. Suddenly dah tak boleh reply, nak top up guna cimbclicks tak boleh pula. Memang sungguh stress, Encik Sayang pula dah risau why aku tak reply reply. Itu lah susahnya bila internet tak ada.

Then this early morning after I solat subuh, he texted me.
"Sayang, dah bangun? Abang online ym ni, ade benda bes nak bagitau:) "

I was sooo excited gila la kan. Then online jugak la di kala subuh2 tu..
Rupa-rupanya Sayang br beli broadband..Then he said, jom call through Skype.
Rupanya..rupanya he got another surprise..
He he he got a webcam already!! Patut la when he called kat Skype, ada video call skali. Alalalala..so sweet la sayang..I was freakingly happy sebab baru semalam I stress sgt2 sebab susah sungguh nak contact each other..Then the next morning he surprised me with those sweet news..
Thanks sayang, thanks thanks..:)

Oh apa ya nk cakap lagi.
A drama hebat terjadi malam semalam.
Nanti lah if free aku tulis di sini. It was about me and a housemate. Damn, hate it. Aku dan Jannah mesti famous lepas ni sebab housemate tu dah 'bawa mulut' ke orang lain perihal aku dan Jannah. Suka-hati-kau-lah.

OK, perut dah mula sakit.....
Sayang, cepat pulang ok.
Rindu sangat sangat sangat..:)

I'll Be More Free!

People yang I notice constantly baca blog I, sorry for not informing you my new url.
The reason I changed it: I dont want my public blog to be more public.
Maybe after this, my public blog but only to certain people out there:)

Bukan apa, all this while I macam segan segan or in other words I banyak juga tapis words because I know some people yg I rasa tak patut baca pun baca.
So tak best kan perlu filter sana sini. Hence the change.

Lepas ni since dah tukar everything, hopefully banyak lg truth yang akan keluar. Hehe

Ok guys, see u!

Bukan Tak Mahu

bukan aku tak mahu.
tapi belum masa.

tunggu ya.

:(

Jodoh dan Mati Itu, Allah yang Punyai Kuasa.

Cerita ini berlaku semalam.
It started with a PC Fair in Bintulu.
I just got back from PC Fair, then singgah makan di suatu kedai makan.
Di kedai itu ada disediakan tv besar, maka boleh menonton sambil makan.
Tepat pukul 8mlm, buletin utama TV3 bermula.
The Headline was:

"Kemalangan Telah Ragut Nyawa Pengantin yang Baru Bernikah 4 Jam".

http://www.bharian.com.my/Current_News/BH/Friday/Mutakhir/20091211151723/Article/index_html

Aku baru nak makan, tersentak tengok berita.
Gasp, Shocked.
Terdetik dalam hatiku, kesiannya pengantin perempuan tu. Siap tunjuk lagi inai masih merah di jari.
Pengantin lelaki bersama parentsnya were killed in an accident setelah 4 jam bernikah dengan isterinya.
Aku mula sebak, tak dapat cam siapa pengantin lelaki dan perempuan tu sebab sebak sungguh.
To be honest, walaupun at that moment still tak cam siapa pengantin itu, aku dapat rasakan betapa berat ujian mereka.

Aku beritahu Jannah, aku tak mahu the same thing happen to me and him. Sedihnya:(. Well, sape yg mahu kan? Masa tu juga lah teringat Encik Sayang yg sungguh jauh di mata.

Then we returned home.
Encik Sayang promised to go online to chat with me at 10pm.
So I waited for quite a while, ditambah dengan badan yg tak berapa sihat ini aku mula mahu tidur.
Kunun-kunun ada attempt nak merajuk dengan dia.
Then finally he texted and explained what happened. He was running this one program, so I supposedly need to understand, bukan merajuk :P.
Tiba-tiba rasa tak sampai hati nak merajuk lama-lama, was not his fault pun.

Suddenly ada kawan tegur di YM.
Rupa-rupanya kedua-dua pengantin tadi junior di Kolej Mara dulu. Ya, kini aku dah cam siapa mereka. Lagi la aku sedih kan, because I know them finally!.
I ingat lagi, Ariff tu macam pendiam juga orangnya, dulu study di UK juga but at different University.
The bride graduated from Auckland.

Moga Allah place Ariff, the parents and the friend di kalangan orang orang beriman.
Amiin..

Ya Allah, lindungilah orang-orang yang aku sayang itu..Jauhilah diri mereka dari bencana..

Certainly aku tak mahu jadi isterinya hanya untuk 4 jam..Biarlah sampai bila bila pun..hurmm..

Oklah, jumpa lagi. Salam..

Those Were The Days..

This video was taken in August 09, during fasting month.
Me and Kakak teman Myra makan kerana baby tecit itu sungguh lapar.

I'll tell you about this one news later in my next post ya? Have a good weekend peeps!

"We Want Foods.." said the Meow Meow..

Gambar masa Mentoring Workshop hari tu. From left: Syed, Saufi, Amar Jr, Edwin, Vee and Dilla.

Bintulu time: 555am.
Morning ! Awalnya saya bangun hari ni. Hihi.
Actually last night I slept early, as early as 7pm!. Right after performing Maghrib prayer, terus terbaring atas katil and I went to my lala land..Hehe.
Bila tersedar saja, it was 430am. Capai my hp, 2 messages from Encik Sayang. Kesian dia, mengadu hari semalam penat, tapi saya pula tidur dengan enak selama 9 jam!. Baru teringat belum solat isyak. Then solat, terus tunggu subuh since Subuh here in Bintulu is 503am.

Then I texted him, asked how is he doing.
He was about to sleep already.
Then I told him the real thing, the truth and pain that bothered me last night. (Sebab saya tidur awal).

He was worried, terus minta mahu bicara sama saya.
Katanya mengapa tak beritahu awal-awal sejak semalam. I was trying to be good not to disturb him in class.
If nak tunggu dia pulang ke rumah lambat lagi, hence the early sleep :P.

At about 520am we talked for a while. I told him tentang perkara yg "mengacau" fikiran dan fizikal saya sejak semalam:(
After almost one day we didnt hear from each other, surely rindu banget..

Encik Sayang sudah mahu tidur, goodnyte.
I continued my morning, went to the kitchen and goreng nugget for breakfast (sungguh tak sihat weh..). Then there were two cats ber-meow-meow to me asking for foods. Lapar yer sayang..kejap k nak reheat ikan..(friskies tak ada ok kerana mereka kucing yang bukan dibela, tetapi mungkin kucing jiran yang telah dibuang T-T)
So I fed them, kesian pulak lihat mereka lapar-lapar di pagi hari.
I understand how it feels bila perut sgt lapar di pagi hari, seawal 550am.

Nugget dah siap masak, biar kan dulu. Lepas mandi dan siap nak ke office baru saya makan.

Okla, its 604am already. Nak bersiap-siap pergi bekerja.

Potong Badan, Darah Memancut

Assalamualaikum semua..
How are u getting on? How was your weekend?
Mine was not that bad.

Saturday

800am-230pm
On Saturday had this MAKSAK Games, I represented my company for futsal ladies. The tournament ended at about 230pm.

645pm-1000pm
At night watched movie-Ninja Assassin with my 11 other friends! Gila, tonton movie seramai 12 orang. Haha betapa kami boring, maka keluar beramai2. Then makan ramai-ramai. Rashid the HR guy introduced me to some other new friends. They're funny. Hehe.

1000pm-1am
Chatted with him, had a conversation too. Alhamdulillah, so far we both can cope with the distance. Apa yg penting? Kerjasama..Hehe. The important things are: Patience, Understanding, Tolerance, Avoid Dramas (if you know what I mean), Trust. Kalau ada extra sila tambah lagi ok? :) Please pray for us..supaya kami dapat bertahan untuk beberapa ketika waktu ini. :)

Sunday
Just lazying around at home. Keluar sekejap beli makanan. Seronoknya now dh banyak makanan dalam bilik *big grin*

Last night, when I asked a friend "what do u think of the movie?"
My friend replied: "I wanna be a vegetarian la after this. haha."

Why? Tengok dulu Ninja Assassin, then you'll know :).
Oklah, nak merajinkan diri mensidai baju yang sungguh banyak. Bye!

Another Junior in The Family :)

Remember I told you about kakak yg telah safely gave birth to a 3.7kg baby girl?

Mommy, I think Im drooling. Please please wipe it..Mommy, why is it still there? Please get the drool off my face..I wont look nice with it =pOk now, lets sing together...Lalalalala~..Mommy..tiba tiba I tertidur pula..=pMommy, why am I so tiny? When can I get bigger?Hi little sister..Im myra, your big sister..Hi hi hi hi..Im nice btw

Baby: Mommy, I forgot to ask. Is kakak Myra nice? Im afraid if she'll be bullying me or bite my fingers later on.
Mommy: Dont worry dear, Kakak Myra is only 1 year and 11 months but Im sure she'll be nice to you. She kept saying to you "Bibi..bibi.."
Baby: But mommy..the picture you showed me the other day..Kakak Myra looked..ermm..ermm..erm..never mind la mommy


So my 2nd niece still nameless. Kakak and the rest masih cari nama yg elok dan sesuai for the baby. Any suggestions?

Serangan Perut, Sorry Main Kasar.

ok, tonight's futsal training turned out bad.
I had a friendly match with this one team. Most of them are tomboys! Those yang rambut pendek, well-trimmed.
Main kasar, I fell down. Terbaring aku dibuatnye.
Kaki banyak kali kena sepak.
Bola yg ditendang terkena perutku. Sakitnya, macam nak muntah but terpaksa tahan sepanjang match.

Honestly, I was annoyed. Pissed off juga sebab mereka sungguh kasar weh.
Nak compare dengan team ku yg sungguh feminine itu, memang jauh beza lah. Takde lah feminine ayu bagai, but at least kami tak lah sekasar itu. Agak agak la kan, this is not EPL ma.

However, undeniably the opponents memang tangkas dan lincah bermain.

Tu je credit untuk mereka.
Bila dah abes match, macam biasa bersalam-salam.

Yang tak boleh belah bila sorang ni (memang paling kasar), salam tangan aku sambil berkata:
"Sorry main kasar."
Aku rasa macam funny but at the same time macam dot dot dot sikit. Haha.

No comment.
Oklah korang, esok MAKSAK Games (among Swakians) akan mula.
Kalau team aku menang, aku rasa itu rezeki. Atau pun miracle.
Goodnyte!

Si Kancil dan Si City

First and foremost, ni bukan kisah sang Kancil dan Buaya ya. Bukan juga kisah Kancil dan City Nurhasliza. Haha.
Oh ya.
Kau orang tahu kan, recently aku selalu pergi futsal training?
So one day (night), me and Jannah macam biasa lah keluar nak pergi futsal training, drove a kancil. Since both of us belum punya kereta, maka kami pinjam dulu kereta housemate.

Sampai saja Kidurong Futsal Centre, cepat-cepat cari car park.
Tiba-tiba nampak someone with her car, parked her car just right beside our kancil. Ceh, perasan macam kereta sendiri.
Oh, she's the technician in my department.

We went:
"Hi.."

She replied:
"Hi..".

Aku senyum sengih bila tengok kereta dia.
A shiny Honday City lah.
Bling bling mata aku tengok kereta dia.
Aku dan Jannah naik apa malam tu?
A perodua kancil saja and both of us are the new engineers. Haha.
Dahla kancil, pinjam kereta orang lagi.

Ironi nya, bila di office aku lah boss. Tapi bila di luar office aku hanya lah seorang engineer baru yg tak punya kereta pun. Technician aku pula pakai Honda City you. Haha =p

Kesian, ni lah kisah orang tak punya kereta lagi.

=p

Korang rasa, kereta apa yg bes ek? Aku tak ada plan lagi nk beli kereta apa. Company dh provide bus pergi kerja hari-hari, malas pula nak fikir bab bab kereta.

Title-Less =)

Good Morning! Woke up late this morning. Why? Sebab lepas subuh at 510am I tidur balik. Padan dengan wajahku. Haha. Need to catch up a bus at 655am. Bila lambat, memang tak sempat nak iron shirt and my trousers. Sempat iron tudung sahaja, hence the coverall to work.

Last night, yesterday was a happy day. Praise to the Almighty.
Things that put smiles on my face were:

1. My sister has safely gave birth to a baby girl weighted 3.7kg. Normal delivery, relief.
2. After almost 2 days without any news, Encik Sayang finally called and we chatted on YM. That's more than enough, at least I can hear from him. Miss you, mydear..:)
3. Another Sheffield mate got a job in Bintulu too! The same company as mine! Hehe excited terlebih ni apesal ? =p. So now ada 2 sheffield graduates yang akan kerja denganku di Bintulu. Yey! Super YEY! hehe.
4. At night chilled out with Jannah and Anith. Had kuetiaw kerang and honey dew juice, Yummy!
5. A fully-occupied day with works and I love it! Agak penat, sampai tertidur dalam bus on the way pulang ke rumah.

Oklah, I need to have rest. At 8pm ada futsal training.

I was trying to look at the bright side of the 6 hrs time diference and the distance. i found it, bit by bit. ;)

I Seek Strength

Just got back from futsal training.
Kakak sepatutnya deliver baby on the 23rd Nov aritu but until now belum keluar baby tu.
It worries me.
Mommy is in KL, teman kakak dan jaga Myra. Myra is 1 tahun 10 bulan and will get a little sister, very soon.
Got a text from kakak:

"Tadi doc scan..dia akan induce esok..I tgh teringat kat Myra ni..huhu..teardrops on my pillow..huhu.."-Kakak.

The text touched me deep, rendered me speechless.
Kawan-kawan, please pray for my kakak ok..Moga semuanya selamat sahaja..Moga she can deliver normally..

Ya Allah, I seek strength from You..
I hope things will go as smooth as they should be..

And today is the first day of feeling Encik Sayang's absence.
I made myself busy, Im feeling better now..

Ok, gotta go.
Till then, adios.

Takdir Untuk Berjauh

Gigi bulat-bulat. Kanak kanak umur 8 tahun memang macam tu kot. =p

I miss you..

Myra dearie was a little bit unwell, hence the expression.

Salam and good evening people. Aku penat banget. Baru sangat sampai Bintulu. Semalm tidur sejam setengah saja, tapi berbaloi.
Journey from KL-Bintulu wasnt as smooth as it used to be.
It was raining heavily, we cannot landed at Bintulu airport as scheduled sebab tak selamat. Dalam hati aku amat risau, what if this is my last day? Please not, :(. Supposedly landed at Bintulu around 345pm, tapi disebabkan hujan lebat, sampai Bintulu at 430pm. Poor us.

People, I had 3 awh-some days starting from last Friday.

Thursday
I arrived at LCCT at 6pm. Flight ke Penang pula delayed, patutnya jam 920pm tapi it was re-timed to be 1025pm. Aih, penat oh.
Abah fetched me up and sampai rumah at 130am.

Friday
130am:
Sebaik saja sampai rumah, I talked to mommy and waited for Kakak, Cenad, Myra and Abg Kerol to be home.
430am:
Kakak and family were safely arrived. Then I went to bed. Zzzzz..Penat.
700am-800am:
Bangun dan bersiap-siap untuk raya. I made the preparation for our family's BBQ.
1030am:
Cousins datang rumah, nenek jua datang. Aku sungguh kelam kabut, ditambah dengan tidur tak cukup, penat lagi. Tapi layannn je la masak-masak semua tu.
1200pm-200pm:
I waited for Encik Sayang to come for the BBQ.
300pm-400pm:
We had our BBQ time, agak rushing tapi still suka the moments :).
500pm-700pm:
Makan timeeee...
740pm:
Encik Sayang pulang ke rumah. I thought that was the last time dapat lihat dia. Sedih amat that night, tapi control control. Kakak ku usik usik tapi buat tak layan =p.

Saturday
1100am-12oopm:
I drove the little girls and kakak to nenek's. Met Paksu and Maksu too. Rasa cuak bila reverse kereta di rumah nenek sebab kekangan ruang. Haha alasan =p.
1030pm-1130pm:
I had a special guest.

Sunday
440am:
Off to Penang airport, tapi singgah jumpa dia sebentar untuk kasi barang. Terlupa. Oh last night wasnt the last time we met lah. Hehe.
Flight aku dan dia will be on the same day (Sunday) but with different locations and time.
Mine is at 810am, Encik Sayang's is at 1025am.
But but we managed to meet up for the last time. Kali ni memang terakhir kali la, met his mom and the rest too.
Was sad but happy at the same time.
430pm:
I arrived at Bintulu and Encik Sayang is having a 9 hours transit..Sigh, lamanya.
We tried to contact via sms or calls but tak berapa berjaya.
I know he's far away from me now.
Im sad, still am.
I was thinking a lot, about my family back home and him. Rindu mereka, only God knows.
Never thought when my family gets together, meriah gila. Semua orang nak bercerita, nak usik usik. Ditambah pula dengan Encik Sayang's existence, memang happy.

3 hari yang gembira, but at the end I need to be separated from them.
I need to be separated from him too, the hardest thing to do.
At least, I still can fly to Penang and pulang ke rumah.
But Encik Sayang is thousand miles away from me, not reachable. In order to reach him, perlu duit beribu-ribu for flight tickets and cuti.

I had a lot in mind in the plane just now. Mainly semua nya kerana homesick.
Apart from that, aku fikir. How the long distance will affect me and him? Is it gona be good or bad?
The trust is there, I have faith in us.
We made some plans for the long distance. Hope they'll turn out well lah.

Ok, I need to have rest.
**After a few hours failed to contact each other, he suddenly called me from Singapore. Thanks, Hehe**

Bye Bye You

Since last week, my days were fully occupied. Weekend pun kerja (acting=p )..So today (Khamis) saya dapat cuti. Yey!
Hari ni juga saya akan pulang ke kampung for Raya Haji yeah! Flight Bintulu-KL-Penang. Dalam 10pm sampai lah Penang. Sronotnya..di hari Khamis dapat berehat2. Hari ni tak kerja.
So what did I do yesterday?

710am - I sampai office, bumped into boss after a while tak nampak. Busy oh.
900-1200pm -I had this CCTV training. Me and my other colleagues caught this one man peeing in the plant. Kebetulan masa tu tengah configure cameras for the CCTV. Tergamam masa tu, tak sengaja ok.
430-600pm - Had makan makan with Jannah, Saufi and Fizi. Ammar and Bambang the daddy dah balik Kedah and Indonesia.
800-930pm - Had futsal training for the MAKSAK games (Swak games). I played with a Swak player. Hebat lah dia. I scored 1 goal, credit tu kaki kiri ku. =p. Saya cepat pancit since dah lama tak main, muka merah habis.
930-1100pm - Chill out, makan and minum at Selera Kampung.
1100pm - After 1 day yang sibuk, baru dapat bercakap dengan dia. Had a phone call with Encik Sayang.

Oklah, nak sidai baju. My flight is at 410pm. Bye bye You!

Takdir Pelajar Sheffield

Tadi ada rakan Sheffield, YM aku:

Rakan: Halo
Me: Yo
Rakan: Aku dapat Bintulu. Haha
Me: *excited gila*. Yer?? Ada gang. Haha. ABF ke MLNG?
Rakan: ABF tu ape? Tadi Petronas call aku, katenye MLNG.
Me: Asian Bintulu Fertilizer. Oh yer?? Yey!! Meh2. Haha. Position ape?
Rakan: Tah, tunggu surat sampai.

And the conversation goes on..Bla..bla..sibuk tanyakan aku hows Bintulu..etc..

Ok, nampaknya dah takdir pelajar Sheffield untuk kerja di Bintulu. Haha.
Orang Perlis bila pula? Aku dengar kau pun Pet dah call? =p

The rain is pouring heavily. I feel cold, I am missing you. Where are you, sweetheart?

An Engineer, A Part Time Actress.

This weekend was the most exhausting weekend so far, I need to berlakon.
It's for my company's short film-documentary.
The shooting started on Friday afternoon and just ended today.
So sejak Jumaat petang hari tu (balik rumah jam 945mlm) hinggalah ke pukul 750mlm Sabtu aku begitu sibuk di set penggambaran.
Initially when the HR guy asked me to act, I thought it's just gona be a simple shooting using a handycam.
NO LAH.
Siap ada proper make up artist ok, rimas gila rupanya bila make up yg 'super real' melekat dan bertepek di muka.
Fine.
I had the opportunity to act, but tak perlu jadi pelakon/artis. Aku rasa cool sebab dapat cuba pengalaman baru.
Baru aku tahu, susah rupanya jadi pelakon ni.
Even for a simple scene (contohnya adegan menarik beg dan tiba di airport), perlu lakukan lebih dari sekali.
Masa scene di office pula, agak malu (malu gila actually) bila ramai sgt orang tengok masa shooting.
Aku berseloroh ada rakan-rakan se'lakonan':
"Im thankful for what Im doing now, rather jaga machine-machine atau buat design dari perlu berlakon berulang kali". Haha
Oklah, mari lihat gambar.
Basically ada 4 pelakon utama. Cewah, dah perasan.-Ravi, Lily, Azizul and Me.
Scene perlu bermesra di tepi kolam sambil bermain-main memercik air. We are straight btw =p
Adegan tak boleh belah. Jalan tepi kolam, ada tergelak-gelak sikit sebab dialog macam tuuutt.. Haha
James, the director. Creative gila dia ni.


Proper set you see. ;)
Behind the scene


I hope the documentary will turn out well. Next year ( January) dijangka akan siap dan will be presented to..to..Im not sure yet.

Haha.

Im SOOOOOO TIRED. Seriously.
Aku harap dapat cuti Khamis ni.
Encik Sayang pun busy hari ni, tolong kakaknya pindah rumah and he's having a formal dinner in Sg Petani tonight.
Balik cepat tau..:)

Oklah, esok Ahad. Nak rest puas-puas. Jumpa esok ok?
Goodnyte! :D

Kau Buat Aku Rindu, Oh!

Tadi tengok facebook. (Kantoi lah, takda kerja lain dah =p )
Ada gambar Sheffield juniors. I guess they're new since album title pun "My Days In Sheffield" and gambar semua pun dalam lecture halls, depan Mappin Building.
Memang gambar typical untuk the freshies =p

They made me miss Sheffield, miss UK. Much!

It's not that I want to repeat the schooling days, no no please. Haha.
Why ha? Aku malas ka belajar? Im not sure of that but Im sure Im tired of having classes, seating for EXAMS, bla bla..You know they are all tiring but a lil bit of fun kan? Sometimes la.

Ramai orang cakap bila kerja akan rindu the schooling days, but not me. So far I dont feel that way.
I still remember I used to have this one syndrome when it comes to examination. I will be dreadfully nervous just to think of the first paper to come! Normally syndrome ni muncul the night before I seat my first paper for every exam. It will be very hard for me to sleep. Sigh, but things turned out well. Alhamdulillah.

One weird thing I discovered about myself is : Sometimes being a procrastinator is a blast for me. Haha, dont do this at home peeps! Examples?

Procrastination Scene 1:
When I was in my 1st year, I never studied, never do revision for this one module. The lecturer was a sempoi sempoi type, all the tutorials he sent via email memang I never did. Notes? I think only a few points I jotted down. The rest I left them blank.
The night before exam, baru lah I salin notes dari kawan I sorang ni. Well, it was not only me who did that. A few other friends also procrastinated =p.
I was really determined, memang tanak tidur malam tu. Tomorrow's paper was in the afternoon so I still have so much time to revise. Gila I know, but that's the fact. I had only a few hours to study. Study and study, I fell asleep at about 3am. Terpaksa tidur takut esoknya tak boleh jawap langsung due to tak cukup tidur yang extreme. After that module, I need to study another module, juga untuk paper yg sama. It means that, one paper I had two modules to study. Haih, penat but I managed to do all the tutorials and most of the past year papers. Bila tiba exam at about 130pm, I was really thankful to Allah. For the module I ignored, all the questions were taken from the tutorial Qs!!! See, can you imagine if I didnt do the tutorial Qs the night before? Mesti I menyesal punya. I smiled to ears after the paper. Even smiled more widely when I got the results, was an A. The highest mark of all modules for that semester. :D
Well I guess I was lucky at that time, I swear I wont do exams crazily like that. Anymore.

Procrastination Scene 2:
It happened when I was in my final year, final semester. Haha, again but not as extreme as before. There's this one module, there are 3 lecturers. So in exam, one paper but I need to study 3 subjects! The classes are on Friday, 1030am-1230pm. I was very lazy nak pergi every week, so selalu lah skip sebab masa tu rasanya buat FYP lagi bagus=p. (Alasan). Lagi kemalasan melanda bila I already got the notes, provided by the lecturer. Attendance pula tak perlu sign, haaa confirm skip! =p. Of all the 3 subjects, I was sorta lagged this one subject. So one day before the exam, baru kelam terkabut nak study. I ignored everyone before the exam. Haha takut kau. I was lucky, I had this one friend yg tiba tiba jadi study group mate dengan dia=p. Study through YM jer, but we managed to discuss some important parts. Esoknya, memang soalan related to the one we discussed itu keluar. Alhamdulillah, I did it well. Again, that module was the highest among all. Thank you to that friend sebab sudi study sama-sama. Hehe.

Scene 3-NO more procrastination.
3rd Year. There's this one module, almost all the seniors cakap susah. I was kinda scared juga, payah sgt ke weh? Why not just amek ja module tu? Actually, I susah nak percaya that particular thing until I try it myself. Lantas aku amek ja module tu, I managed to like the lecturer and the module itself. I admired the way the lecturer teaches us, rasa sayang sangat nak skip class. Serious loh, bes gila class tu. Apart from that, there's this one PhD student yg offer diri nak study group dengan aku dan Elly. So 3 of us, studied together dari awal sampai lah exam tiba. Cewah, kali ni memang rasa tenang ja bila exam tiba because I know I was well-prepared. Heh ;). Again, I scored the highest mark for that module in my 3rd year. Alhamdulillah again;). So now, kamu kamu nak senang percaya ka kalau orang lain cakap susah? Cuba dulu, You never knew how good you can be:)

The point here is,

1. Jangan procrastinate, study sejak awal, nurture the interest and the fun bits of studying sejak mula.
2. Kalau tak boleh blah sangat nak suka module tu, act as if you are the engineer for that field. Haha. Mesti kau macam semangat sikit walaupun perasan dah kerja =p.
3. Kalau kau tak mahu jadi engineer, act as if you're preparing for a lecture. Tuka kerjaya pula, jadi lecturer. Ha, konon konon kau nak mengajar module tu esok, maka perlu lah be well prepared! :D
   
4. Sometimes, its not how frequent, how long you study but the way you absorb all the ilmu. Have passion, dont study for the sake of exams sebab nanti kau mesti stress.
5. Jangan study sebab orang suruh, tapi atas your own willingness. Bila kau rela, kau mesti tak stress kan?
6. Plan your own schedule for everyday. Kalau boleh la. Tak semestinya jadual study, but "what to do today" pun dah bagus. I admit, aku dulu pun tak sempat nak study setiap hari, kadang2 langsung tak sentuh buku pun. Mungkin FYP yg merenggut komitmen terlampau. Aih, alasan ka tuh? That is why, bila tengok kawan-kawan study aku macam rasa tercabar sebab kadang-kadang tak sempat. But I know I will find my own time and try my own way untuk absorb the ilmu.

Ok, stop merepeking. Im not the right person to give tips or whatnot. But hey, ambil yg baik-baik saja dari aku. Yang buruk jangan ikut. Hehe.
Yang penting, perlu rasa tanggungjawap towards yourself. What that is?
Cari ilmu untuk diri sendiri lah, itu responsible kau.
Plus, MARA dah hantar belajar jauh-jauh, takkan nak kena hantar pulang sebab result yg memberi impak kepengsanan terlampau? =p


Oklah, its 748pm. Housemates dah ajak makan.
later!

* Bila dah habis type, baru sedar entry ni panjang giles. Sorry for taking your time. Hikhik too bad you're still reading =p *

Toilet, Bathroom and I

Entry yg ditulis weekend hari tu :D

Pagi, kawan-kawan! :D

I think I'm a riser since I managed to wake up at 524am and slept again =p. Oh abaikan.
Girl friends, suddenly I nak bercakap tentang toilet, bathroom, toiletries, make up or apa-apa yg sewaktu dengannya. ;)

Antara toilet/bathroom yang jadi favourite I selama ni adalah bathroom rumah I di UK dulu. Very comfy, together with awh-some lighting tau, a bath tub, a huge mirror untuk vain-is-not-a-crime activity and a proper large table where you can put all the toiletries :D

Currently toilet di office I. Oh, interior design, decoration serta bau yang never fails to let me down everytime :D. Kiranya, whenever I masuk toilet di office, memang dengan penuh suka-rela, penuh mood baik sebab toilets di office memang dijaga rapi, credit to makcik-makcik floor engineers :P. Oh yes.. havent you heard, I paling suka toilet yang dry, smell nice and of course tak kotor?

Even di rumah I sendiri pun, I memang particular tentang toilet, sebab itu bila boring-boring aja akan cuci saja toilet. I want my own toilet to be a place where I can release stress while having my long hot shower :D.

How about the toiletries?

Shower gel
Surprisingly, I would prefer to have more than one types of shower gel. (Haha). Sebab apa? Ikut mood lah nak guna yang mana:)
For yang a bit pricey, I prefer Casis Rose or any berries by Bodyshop.
Kalau yg biasa-biasa aja, I chose Johnson & Johnson, Echanteur (Desire).

Shampoo.
L'Oreal will do:)

Facial
I use Clinique. Clinique gives you the comfort, soft feeling as it wont harm your skin. Lepas cuci muka, terasa muka itu ringan, bersih dan lega. Hehe

Make up?
Pergi office I takdela make up sgt, just guna compact powder and natural lipstick saja. Kalau I rajin, earth colour eye shadow and blusher.
For compact powder, I suka Revlon sebab the texture blends well with my skin. I also like the colour, suits my skin tone:)
Foundation tidak I gemari, leceh, nak wuduk perlu cuci betul betul. And terasa muka itu fake sebentar setelah muka itu concealed by the foundation =p.
Concealer pun I tak gemar, mascara pun. Leceh semua tu.
Unless I have ample time to make up or di kala 'tidak boleh solat'. Paham kan? Hehe.

Talcum?
Selepas mandi contohnya, lebih gemar put on Baby Johnson talcum.

ok lah, ini cerita hari ini.

I penat sgt, training seharian.
Balik saja rumah made nasi lemak for dinner. Housemates suka, yey!
Esok ada assessment-written test, oral and practical. Wish me luck!

Right, nak berehat.

Cik Fizah, Cik Lyne, Cik Nurul, Cik Pwincess Johanna dan siapa siapa lagi, I nak tag you all. Buat entry "Toilet, Bathroom and I" juga. Boleh?

Psst..psst..semalam berbual dengan Mama dia di corong telefon..its been a while since we last talked. She planned to go to Sabah. Sarawak pula? Hehe

Aku dan Segelintir Perubahan

"A man sees himself in the eyes of the woman he loves."

Sejak bekerja, aku sedar ada perubahan pada aku:

1. Bila tiba malam, aku cepat penat dan mengantuk. Kadang-kadang nak masak pun malas, ceh sejak bila lah aku rajin ni =p.
2. Aku berjalan lagi cepat.
3. Berat badan macam dah naik. Serius lah.
4. Aku sudah tidak obses dengan shopping mall atau merabakkan poket a.k.a SHOPPING. Mungkin kadar keinsafan sudah signifikan. Im proud of myself. :D
5. Aku makin hargai duit, proper financial plan sudah ada. Sikit sikit :)
6. At the same time, I learn to respect my partner more. Tak tahulah, maybe it depends on who you are with. Kalau lelaki tu layan kau baik, respect kau, jaga hati kau, ada efforts untuk kau, hati kau pun tenang. Jiwa gembira saja:)
7. Aku dah lama gila tak ambil gambar, edit dan upload di fotopages. Gambar di facebook pun malas nak upload. I just dont give a damn lah.
8. Aku jarang tengok tv.
9. Aku makin particular about 'bersihkan tangan'. Sebab kerja aku kadang-kadang pergi plant, ke sana ke mari. Terasa tangan kotor gila, maka baik basuh betul betul.
10. Aku makin tiada life, especially living in Bintulu. What do u expect?
11. Aku dah tak kisah aku tak beli baju baru. Hari hari pakai uniform, weekend plak nak pergi mana la sangat kan? Tell me why I should buy new clothes then? No need lah.
    

Another thing in common: Aku suka ikan goreng yg rangup, dia pun jua! haha apa lah.

Psst..psst..Encik Sayang terharu baca part ni:

Aku dan engkau,
Perasaan indah meniti hari-hari bersama,
Berkongsi kisah, bercerita selesa mungkin.
Buat aku senyum.
Engkau harapanku,
Untuk jadi pelengkap hidup,
Untuk jadi imamku,
Untuk jadi Walid untuk si kecil kita,
Untuk jadi teman terbaik di kala suka duka, tika tawa dan tangis.

ok lah, mau rehat.

goodnyte!

Kerana Kau

Kerana Kau Bintulu,

Aku hanya dapat lihat saja kawan2 aku pergi bercuti tanpa aku.
Aku dikatakan sombong kerana tak dapat join mereka. Aper, ingat tiket flight macam tiket bas ke? Suka suki mau beli anytime.

Aih, I feel left out this time.

Let's do it my own way.

Bye.Girl friends, I always wish we could spend more time together.

-Kay, I Love you too. Hehe. You know that.

Debaran Untuk Hidup Kita

Kesayanganku,

Bila ku lihat mereka,
Begitu pantas berlari dengan waktu,
Mereka nampak begitu bersedia, terima apa adanya.

Kadang-kadang aku kagum, mereka terpilih agaknya untuk lalui itu, nikmati itu dan diduga begitu.
Aku tahu, masa aku tiba jua nanti.
Sudah tertulis, hanya tunggu masa dan ketika.

Aku dan engkau,
Perasaan indah meniti hari-hari bersama,
Berkongsi kisah, bercerita selesa mungkin.
Buat aku senyum.
Engkau harapanku,
Untuk jadi pelengkap hidup,
Untuk jadi imamku,
Untuk jadi Walid untuk si kecil kita,
Untuk jadi teman terbaik di kala suka duka, tika tawa dan tangis.

Kini,
Kita makin hampiri detik itu,
Aku rasa makin dekat,
Aku sabar menunggu penuh debaran.

Lagi 14 hari untuk kita berjauh beribu batu, terpisah lautan.

Aku pasrah saja,
Banyakkan berdoa,
Dia lebih tahu apa cerita kita seterusnya.

Dunia kita masing-masing memerlukan kita,
Akur lah.

Kelak, kita akan ditemani rindu dan kekuatan untuk tahun mendatang.
Jumpa lagi..

Yang benar,
Kasih. :)

Tak Sehebat Ayat-Ayat Cinta

Selamat hari minggu.
Penat, jadual penuh sejak minggu lepas. Walau di hujung minggu.

Minggu lepas aku banyak training, tapi di Bintulu saja.
Kerap juga turun ke plant, ada masalah excessive current consumption. (ceh, no need beritahu sedetail ini kot).

Jumaat
Jumpa boss setelah sekian lama tak berbual. A pleasant feeling, inspiring, motivated I was. He said something to me. Something that brought my confidence back on track.
Lepas waktu kerja, pulang dan bergegas keluar kembali. For the first time ever I played BASKETBALL. (Cenad sila jangan gelak). We played for 2 hours, NON STOP. I sweated all over, tapi puas hati sebab terasa it's been ages tak bersukan. (Serius, aku makin gemuk, perlu work out).
After basketball chilled out makan and minum with Edwin, Darshini, Melissa, Kenneth and Jalen.
So Jalen told us how exciting it was to eat exotic animals-snakes, frogs, bats. Aih, serius nak muntah bila dengar especially when he emphasized on how sedap a frog can be!
Balik rumah at around 930pm, had a long hot shower and watched Nur Kasih. Heh, suka.
Was on the phone with Encik Sayang and slept 2 hours later.

Saturday
Me, Jannah, Encik Zawawi (Remember the "Eh Nape Nangis Ni" entry?), Encik Ramli, Amar, Fizi, Saufi and Bambang went to Tatau (Try to pronounce it and shrug at the same time=p ). Tatau is located about 50km from Bintulu where you can get very cheap prawns!
Since we forgot to call the Tatau people before we came, udang tiada hari ni sebab it was raining heavily hence air sungai 'naik'. They call it as 'Air Besar'. Hehe what la.
At night, we had BBQ among us. It went well, mainly borak-borak and gossip2 saja since during weekdays everyone was busy with works.

Ok, I just finished watching 'Ketika Cinta Bertasbih'.
Jalan cerita lemah, watak tidak kuat untuk refleks peranan masing-masing. Was a little bit frustrated, not as awh-some as expected. Agak terkejut bila endingnya begini: 'To be Continued'. Entah apa-apa.

oklah, it's private time baybeh:)





Last weekend, I got kakak a stroller since Amirah Alisya will get her little sister. Soon, very soon! :) Rindu ah! Serius.

Berakhir Saja

Dugaan yg aku tak mampu tempuh lagi.

Maafkan aku.

Perempuan Woko-Horlicks

Ok, someone has secretly read my blog again.
Hehe that's sweet darling (^_~)

What to blog about?
I have a lot of things to say, but the ideas will only pop into my mind bila aku on the way nak pergi office, bila mandi, bila jalan sorang-sorang, bila sedih, bila stress, bila marah atau bila aku jadi 'kaunselor pinjaman' where I will give FOC service to my buddies. Heh. What la, got no ideas pula. Tengah free ni weyh.

Lets talk about myself first. Ceh. Today I had a gate access training. The whole day, fairly tiring.
Apart from that, today is a new day, a new life for me. Dont ask why, it's all about my mission, the way I see things, my hopes and dream that changed. Personal life? Maybe ada sikit, just a tiny bit lorh.
New life means new plans. New resolution too! I looked through the so-called 'syllabus' for my assessment next year. In order to achieve new grade (naik pangkat lah sng criter), you need to pass the assessment. Susah weyh, serious.

I looked through the syllabus, I know what to achieve in order to pass, hence downloaded all the reading materials. Of course bukan setakat membaca, lepas tu aku perlu aim untuk jadi engineer yang serba tahu, skillful. Orang tanya apa pun, aku dengan pintar dan kreatifnya memberi solution. Makanya, aku perlu rajin turun ke plant lagi, join project sana sini. Kiranya banyak hands on lah.

Ok, mari jadi perempuan Woko-Horlicks! Ahaha.
Wok=kuali Cina
Horlicks=takda susu takkan sedap

Kalau dulu mula mula kerja aku sibuk nak balik pukul 430ptg, sekarang ni aku dah jadi slumber, balik pukul 6 or 7mlm pun aku dah tak kisah kot. Boss, tolong lah tahu. =p. FYI, pukul 7 di Swak sudah gelap gumpita, macam pukul 8mlm di semenanjung.

Oklah, selain jadi pekerja rajin, aku juga cuba untuk cuba aktiviti sampingan. Contohnya SPORTS! Just now I talked to this one lady, would like to join the volleyball's team. She said come on Friday or Saturday. Yey! Then apa lagi? Ok, nak cuba swimming, swimming suit dah beli sebulan lepas belum cuba lagi. =p

Lagi apa ya? Ok, dah la tu.

Apa-apa tentang my new life, later I tell you.

bye!

Hidup Baru

549am, Tuesday. -Bintulu

New template, new life.

Last night was really torn, it pained me to hurt you that way everytime.

Im sorry.

Wish for a better tomorrow.

Gona get ready for work.

Bye!

Eh, Nape Nangis Ni?

Rakan2, aku baru pulang dari KL. Kiranya hujung minggu lalu aku terbang ke KL sebentar. Melepas rindu =).

Malam sebelum aku pulang ke Bintulu, aku demam.
Malam selepas sampai ke Bintulu (last night) pun aku demam. Aih, low immunity.

Hari ini macam a 'bad day' for me. I left my daily pass untuk ke office. Sudahlah nak ke bangunan security itu jauh, kasut ku terkena sedikit lecak. Damn, tapi aku tak boleh lambat sebab nanti lagi lambat masuk office. Bila sampai ke security office, terus aku buat muka manis sebab dah tertinggal pass.

"Cik, pass saya tertinggal." Sengih, masih buat-buat senyum.

"Ok, mintak IC dik."

Lega. Aku cari cari dalam handbagku. Oh, my! I changed my handbag this morning, kebetulan semalam IC ku letak di luar purse sebab diperiksa di airport.

Aku agak blur, cuak juga.

"Er, ala. IC pun tertinggal." Aku buat muka **Sila lah faham saya =( **

"Lesen ade?" Kakak kaunter masih senyum, aku lega lagi.

"Ade ade.." sambil senyum lagi, terus aku hulur lesen aku.

Dapat saja pass sementara, aku bergegas ke office.

Aku jadi nanar sebentar, entah kenapa. Semua serba tak kena. Sampai saja office, aku cari boss tapi tak ada. I think I had something to talk dengan boss. Hurm.

Actually, dalam flight otw ke Bintulu semalam aku ternangis. Kebetulan, Encik Zawawi yg kenal aku was just sitting in front of me.

I heard he called me.

Aku pandang dia, obviously masa tu mata aku berair. Aku cuba sengih, Encik Zawawi terus tanya. Agak kuat la juga, sampai orang sebelah dia pun pandang aku.
Kau tahu apa dia tanya?
"Eh, nape nangis ni?"

Haha, what a shame.

Dengan slumber aku jawap "Homesick lah En Zawawi" =p.

Malu ah.

Bye!

I Saw You Before I Met You, Oh.

Mari imbas kenangan itu =)..

February 2009
Di Februari lepas, I chatted with my little brother in Egypt.

Adik : Kak lang baru beli Nikon D40 kan? Kawan ateh ada Nikon D80. Nak tgk tak? Cantik gak gambar-gambar dia amek.
Me: Boleh gak..photosharing jom..Erm..cantik..amek katner sume gambar-gambar ni?
Adik: Gunung Sinai..

Untuk rujukan masa depan, I saved all the pictures given to me. Mana tahu, dapat kongsi ilmu fotografi.

Masih tiada apa-apa..

March 2009
Adik aku di Egypt begitu mahukan aku ke sana, to give him a visit.
Aku tak mahu, jauh kataku. Lagipun flight ticket ke sana agak mahal (ish ish..kedekut pulak di situ). Hehe.
Adik hampir kecewa dengan aku.
Tak sampai hati biar adik merajuk, ku beli juga tiket ke Mesir.


April 2009

Awal April..
Aku ke Mesir. Di samping tunaikan hasrat adik untuk melawatnya ke sana..Aku ambil peluang untuk berjalan-jalan juga. Di tanah suci, bumi Anbiyak itu..Bumi penuh berkat..Kali pertama jumpa Encik Sayang.
Dalam hati sudah ada rasa, namun dibiarkan sahaja. Diam, penuh rahsia.
Masih juga tiada apa-apa terjadi..

Akhir April..
Aku dan Encik Sayang mulai kenal satu sama lain.

June 2009
Mula ada rasa yang tak terungkap. Indah, hari-hari penuh senyuman. Bahagia, kami sahaja mampu ertikan.

Ogos 2009
Pertama kali bejumpa semula, kali ini di tanah air sendiri.
Kami bukan berseorangan, turut ku jumpa keluarga nya, same goes to him. Hari itu hari Sabtu, Sabtu yang indah, Sabtu penuh makna.
Bermulanya episod baru dalam hidup kami.Lihat, betapa aku gembira di Sabtu penuh makna itu.

September dan October 2009
Masa berlalu..Makin mengenali diri masing-masing.

5 November 2009.
Aku dan dia masih meneruskan ikatan yg ada.
Di suatu malam, aku membuka gambar-gambar lama.
Terjumpa gambar yang satu tu..

"eh, macam ku kenal.."

Aku lihat dengan lebih teliti. Itu gambar Encik Sayang, yg adik aku beri Februari dulu. Setelah November baru aku sedar, lelaki dalam gambar itu ialah dia. Kenapa selepas 9 bulan baru aku sedar yg aku sebenarnya sudah 'lihat' dia sebelum aku jumpa dia April dulu?
Oh Tuhan, aku sudah lihat miliki gambar dia sebelum aku bertemu dengannya..

Aku kagumi, alhamdulillah..

Doakan kami..terima kasih =)